1 Year of Living with a Moose

One year ago this past week, the Moose lumbered into our lives.  And our lives have never been the same.  A few things you should know about living with a Moose:

- Moose don't ask for things.  They just point and grunt.
- Moose sometimes use their heads as battering rams to plow through obstacles, both human and not.
- Moose have poor eyesight, and therefore require special ocular assistance.
- Moose like to explore, especially things they have been told not to "explore" before.
- Moose can't swim and require special flotation devices.
- Moose like baseball (as well they should).
- Moose don't stop moving.....ever.....ever.
- Moose will give you one smile and melt your heart forever.

Happy Gotcha Day, Moose!

JP

Why am I Sad?

Last night we sat down with our older three boys and had an open discussion about areas that we need to work on in our lives, and one of the areas for one of the boys was to be more patient and understanding with Elijah. Trying to sift through the broad spectrum of emotions that a single day creates proves daunting to experienced adults; so the fact that the boys do as well as they do given their age is amazing as it is. I am constantly challenged and inspired by their attitude and persistence. This morning a friend and I were talking about sadness, and as I searched my heart for something I was truly sad about in my life, I was brought back to last night's discussion. I realized that the only thing that truly makes me sad related to my life is when I think about Elijah's first six months of life. We see the effects of that first six months every single day, and it is truly sad that even after nearly 4 years in our family, he still has trouble trusting. He still has trouble loving.

But as I was discussing this with my friend, a realization poured over me. Playing the odds, if Elijah had not been abandoned he probably never would have come to know the Lord. It is because of his suffering that his ultimate redemption is realized. Why am I sad? I should be rejoicing. I know this is a realization that I have had before, but never in the context of my own feelings about the situation. Praise God that he sees the beginning, the middle, and the end. May we always greet the sadness of today with the joy of tomorrow...

JP

Perspective (Part 2)

While our living in a travel trailer idea is part of a greater plan for the future, I sometimes struggle with the idea that while most, if not all of our friends and family are living in homes (some albeit very modest, others extremely nice to anyone's standards), we are cramped in a very tight space limited to mostly the essentials. It is easy to let the envy bug creep into my head, and I have to remind myself that this is all a part of the next leg of our journey.

The other day the boys rode their bikes while I ran the bike path from the campsite along the river in Oceanside. As we were preparing to turn around and head back, Benjamin pointed out a man sleeping under the bridge that stretched over the river. Later that day as I was walking back from the dumpster to the trailer and feeling a little down about our dwelling arrangements, I remembered the man sleeping under the bridge. At that moment I began to make a mental list of the things that I had that that man didn't.

A roof over my head
Heat
Air Conditioning
A warm bed
Electricity
Running water
Refrigerator
Couch
Table for meals
Television
Clean clothes
Company

Then I remembered that what my trailer has to offer is better than what the majority of the world has. To that man under the bridge, this trailer would be "living the high life". He would have given anything to trade places with me, even for just a day. What am I complaining about.

Don't get me wrong. I would never try to lessen the struggles that anyone is going through. But when we place them on the scale compared to how things could possibly be, which side tips? While sometimes this life can present some challenges (like learning the hard way that regular toilet paper doesn't dissolve in your black tank as quickly as the special RV stuff), my challenges are pretty light compared to the challenges many face in this world. I must be content with what I have, because I really so have it pretty good...

JP

Perspective (Part 1)

Perspective.

We all fall into the same trap. Whether it's our home, our job, our family, our possessions, we all at some point in time find ourselves ensnared in the jaws of the covet trap. We know that it's a sin, yet we all do it. Oh, we won't call it that. We will call it an "observation", or we will think that since what we want is not an actual "thing", then it's not coveting.

In adoption circles, this can also play itself out. Over the past six months or so I have felt that the theme the Lord has placed upon my heart has been "suffering". I know that our adoption road has had its share of this, but more than this I know that we are not the only ones. I have felt like I need to drop the vail a little. This adoption thing is hard! I want to tell people that they are not the only ones having a rough go of it. And it's not because they are doing anything wrong. They are not failing. Sin is to blame, and we are doing the best we can to pick up the pieces and make a makeshift mosaic out of a broken masterpiece.

So be careful as an adoptive parent when you covet another's "normal" family. You have responded to a very high calling. And no matter how much you may question yourself or the family that you are providing your adoptive child, you are giving them hope. You are giving them a fighting chance. And after watching the YouTube special on Russian orphans yesterday, I can unequivocally say that it is better than the alternative.

Keep your perspective...

JP

(to be continued)

Happy 6th Birthday Elijah!

Now that we are out of the house and living the "mobile" life, it is a touch more difficult to keep the blog updated. No Wi-Fi means having to rely on my "Blogger" app for my phone. It could be better, but at least it works.

Elijah celebrated his 6th Birthday earlier this month. He had a great day at the zoo and got to spend it with his grandparents too, which was a special touch. We were away from the trailer that weekend, so he had to settle for the Hostess variety of cupcake instead of homemade, but he didn't seem to mind. These milestones, like birthdays, are great indications of the progress we've made. While it is still very slow at times, there is still progress from year to year. The good times are getting more genuine, and the bad times are over much more quickly. We are hopeful that this time spent close together in trailer life will draw him even closer. More about trailer life later...

JP

Trust Him With Today

I have a new motto for my life. "Trust Him with today". The journey that we have been on over the past few years has been filled with much uncertainty. But I have seen the Lord guide us through each step. It has never followed a plan mapped out in advance, each roadblock clearly marked, detours around each hazard. But it has always been God providing exactly what we needed, right when we needed it. Not before, and not more. Just enough at the right time. Another case and point happened last weekend.

At the beginning of December we moved out of our house for good to make way for the county's road widening plans. With only the possibility of renting in front of us, we decided to make a bold decision. Pack up the family, load up a travel trailer and hit the road. Without conventional school holding us down, we decided to turn our perceived "misfortune" into an adventure.

The first step was getting a trailer to pull behind our van. However despite our efforts, a costly mistake and a family crisis later Sara and the kids finished their trip to Wisconsin with no trailer. We hit the road heading back to CA just a week from needing a place to call home. We scouted possibilities from the road, but the prospects looked pretty bleak. We reached CA late Thursday night a little apprehensive. But we had committed this process to the Lord, and we were resting on the faith that He had it under control.

On Friday we began our physical search of RV lots, but they yielded nothing that would fit all of us that was in our price range. However, a couple of days before I left to pick up the family and drive them back, I had called a possible trailer option in Oceanside. He had called me back, but by the time I could look at it, it was Friday and I had to leave. Over a week had passed now, and we couldn't find this trailer available online anymore. But I still had his number on my phone from when I had called to inquire. He had called me back, but we had never spoken. It was a great deal but unlikely still available. Yet I felt this tug to give him a call. From an RV lot in Simi Valley I called him and left him a message. We hopped back into the van, not quite sure of our next step.

Minutes later he called back. I pulled into the closest parking lot and held my breath. Unbelievably, the trailer was still available! Not wanting to miss out, we decided to meet him the next morning to look at it. Knowing that we were coming up to a holiday weekend, I knew I had to make financial arrangements right away. As it turned out, the parking lot I had pulled into was my bank's. So I went right in and took care if it.

The following morning Sara and I met the man selling the trailer and his wife at Camp Pendleton, where it was being stored. He is a Marine getting ready for deployment. As he showed us the trailer, we found out that they are a Christian family with five kids like us. They have three adopted kids and homeschool with the same curriculum as we do. They spent over 90 minutes showing us everything about the trailer. It was in amazing condition. They had pulled it originally with a van like ours, so we knew it would work.

We bought it then and there but we had no way to transport it because our van still needed some work done. They agreed to pull it the next day to a campground in Oceanside. There they spent another hour showing us how to hook it up. As they left they handed us a card. In it they left a note of encouragement saying that they believed that the Lord had orchestrated all of this and that they believed in what we were doing. The card also contained $300 of our money back as a gift!

I know that many uncertainties lie ahead for us, but isn't that the case for everyone? No matter how secure we think we are or how well-planned out we think our lives are, none of us know the changes that tomorrow will bring. Therefore our trust needs to be DAILY on the Lord. He WILL provide.

Sticks and Bricks & Sticks and Stones

The initial pain of letting go of the house is slowly subsiding. It's only "Sticks and Bricks" as Sara calls it. I'm reminded of a line from a Mat Kearney song where he says "When all is lost, all is left to gain". I like that. Now that this piece is complete, I feel like we can move on and meet the next challenge the Lord has for us.

Speaking of the next challenge, that came and hit us broadside this morning. A personal matter that left our family reeling and wondering where the cameras were hidden. I would never compare our present trials to Job (what he went through far exceeds our perceived "problems"), but it's the similar one-after-the-other nature that leaves us scratching our heads. It seems the deeper we go in this journey, the thicker the foliage gets and the heavier the air presses on our lungs. God's not ready for us to start relying on our own strength yet.

I am amazed at the lenses by which we all view the world. It's like those optical illusions where one person sees an image of two people looking at each other and the other person sees a skull or something like that. How our past experiences and our life journey color the way we see the world. I've never been involved in a situation where this truth has played out so dramatically than this morning.

To burn off some of that energy, I grabbed my running shoes and hit to the streets, my favorite place to meet with the Lord. Whenever I enter into confrontations, afterwards I try to examine my behavior in the light of my Savior and his actions when on this Earth. You know what I think is interesting? The only times you find Jesus ripping into people is when the religious leaders and those who would make a mockery of the temple of the Lord were serving their own self-interests over those of the Lord. He saved his choice words for the "evil doers" who were intentionally distorting the truth and deceiving the people for their own empowerment. Yet for everyone else, the everyday person struggling with everyday difficulties and everyday sins He had a completely different approach. A direct rebuke, yet full of love and compassion. When Jesus tells the Samaritan adulteress at the well to "go and sin no more", you can tell that he really cared about her. That he loved her. He didn't pull any punches with the rich young ruler when he told him to "go and sell everything you have and give to the poor", but you always knew that he had his best interests in mind, the eternal and not the temporal. Up to the end, even when the crowd was hurling insults at him, spitting at him as he hung on the cross, his answer still dripped with compassion. "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." How powerful is that? And as I pounded out the miles, this statement reverberated in my mind. My response to the morning's onslaught needs to be the same. How we move forward from here to reconciliation only time will tell.

But as I neared the end of the run, I had to smile as the Holy Spirit, "the comforter", revealed to me that even this morning's events were part of his plan. Our God is bigger than we can fathom, and no situation that he allows is without its purpose. And while I am still trying to grasp the crux of this one, I know one thing. It has pulled our family even closer together than before and drawn us ever closer to the Lord. And that is always a good thing.

I read this statement in a devotional just given to me yesterday by a friend, and it stuck in my mind today. In regard to Jonah's prayer of thanksgiving while in the belly of the great fish, "The time to express gratitude to God is when in the darkness, not after deliverance." These words are incredible, and so true. To that, I say "Thank you God that you are with us during this time, and that you promise you will never leave us. Thank you God because we know that your hand will lead us out of this darkness."

JP