Daddy TV

Trips #3 and #4 to the orphanage have been very similar. Micah is still very much the scared little boy at this point. Both visits start and end with crying. Visit #3 was spent mostly watching what we have called “Daddy TV”, in which I find any number of goofy games to play while he sits on mommy’s lap and watches from a distance. This particular episode included me bowling over plastic pins with a rubber ball and juggling. Episode #4 of the show included the balancing of rubber rings on my head. Visit #3 we got to give (or rather attempt to give) him his snack, some sort of oatmeal with a glaze on top and tea, but that wasn’t happening. His caretaker finally got him to eat it when she came in to pick him up. Visit #4 included his lunch, where we watched him feed himself while the caretaker helped him. This meal included the following: a full bowl of borsch (a beet soup), a full plate of mashed potatoes with vegetables, two large slices of bread and a cup of juice, all eaten with a spoon about the size of his head. I got full just watching him. We are both thankful that we have done this before and understand how these transitions can work, because it is a fight not to get a little discouraged at the slow rate of progress. But there is still progress. The first visits, no goodbyes. Just “get me outta’ here” as quickly as possible. Now, as familiarity grows, we get goodbye’s when we leave and a lot more physical interaction. But as long as there still is another place and another caretaker to go to, we will never really make the necessary progress. We are looking forward to the week we will have him only in our care before we return home. I believe that is when we will take our biggest strides.

We have been keeping ourselves very busy here, experiencing a ton more than we did the past three times we’ve been here. On Tuesday night we attended a professional basketball game, complete with 3 American players. The local team, “Yenesi”, won by one point. They were losing for the entire game, then took the lead with 17 seconds to go. It was pretty exciting for all involved, because they’ve only won 9 out of over 30 games all season. That was #10! We have done a lot more exploring. We found the flea market. We’ve hiked to the top of the hill with the church on it and that houses the “Russia” sign (Krasnoyarsk’s equivalent of the Hollywood sign). We explored the mall yesterday. The entire bottom floor was just shoes! I’m not kidding. Shoes! I have never seen so many shoes in all my life! Last night we attended our first ballet. In Russia of all places. It was amazing! And at only about $8 a seat for nice, center seats, we couldn’t beat it. No, I’m not ashamed to admit it. I enjoyed the ballet!

No orphanage trips this weekend, so we are going to do some more sightseeing and hopefully attend church on Sunday. The boys landed safely in Arkansas yesterday, so they are excited to spend the last part of their trip with Sara’s parents, visiting cousins and fishing and all that. Thanks for all your continued prayers. Only 2 weeks until we return home!

J

Elmo catching a basketball game

Daddy feeding his way into Micah's heart

The Russian Ballet

Good Gifts

Day 1 as Micah’s parents has officially come and gone. We got to visit him in the orphanage, still 10 days from bringing him out for good. And both Sara and I believe that the wait is a blessing in disguise. We are going to need every minute of time we have with him during those 10 days. Our visit was in the afternoon again, just the second visit since we have been back in Russia. And apparently he remembered that he was dropped off two days ago with strange people, because as he rounded the staircase and caught sight of the doorway of the playroom where we were waiting for him, he put on the breaks, stiffening both legs and looking very much like a waterskier as his slick-soled sandels scraped across the tile floor. Voicing his displeasure, he entered the room ultimately in the arms of his caretaker. Much of the visit proceeded in like fashion. He spent the better part of the first hour crying. A hefty portion of his apprehension was supplied by yours-truly. (That’s what I live for. Scaring small children. I thought the Halloween monster mask with blood-tinged fangs was a good idea. The perfect ice-breaker). The response is really not much different than it was with Elijah, except Micah is about 6 months younger than Elijah was and as a result, is just a touch more apprehensive. But once I relegated myself to one corner of the room assembling a collection of Cinderella puzzles (I killed those bad boys so fast!), he settled down and began to play. It was from this vantage point that I was able to catch on camera his first smiles as Sara tickled him.

As the afternoon progressed, I was able to work my way closer to him, much like a Navy SEAL, belly crawling behind foam-filled couches and ducking behind stacked foam blocks, occasionally peeking from behind to see that I was not spotted. With a wall of multi-colored blocks as a barrier, I slowly extended the video camera out from behind, training the lens on Micah sitting in Sara’s lap. I then angled the viewfinder towards me, using it as a periscope so that I could watch my son play. By the end of our visit though, I was able to come out from behind the wall, and we rolled a small ball back and forth together as I cherished every toss. At this point, they are the little things that are so important. But you should have seen him when the door opened and his caretaker stepped in. GAME OVER! Remember the cartoons where Scooby-Do and Shaggy would be frightened by something popping up behind them? They would jump up and their feet would start running franticly before they even touched the ground? Got the mental picture? Yeah, pretty much like that. No “good-bye”. Just “get me outta here, man!” (or the Russian equivalent).

If you have read this blog before, you know that this is the part where I wax philosophical on you. Much like Fred Rogers from the popular Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood children’s show would take off his “house shoes” and put his loafers back on, throw the old-man coat over his sweater while singing “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…”, I can’t wrap up this episode without it. You would somehow feel slighted. Taken advantage of. Ripped off. I just don’t think I could live with myself knowing that I caused you so much pain. So here goes. I know on the surface it could sound like Micah’s response this past visit was negative. A bad sign. And while unfortunate, I don’t know how anyone could realistically expect anything different. The orphanage is my son’s home. His small room is his whole world. His caretakers are his mom and dad. His playmates are his brothers and sisters. At this moment, who am I? A stranger. Someone to be feared. What is the playroom where we visit him? Just a place where he feels alone and scared. Here’s where the truth of our life and God come into clear focus. All of us at many different times in our lives and in myriad ways are Micah. We are comfortable and safe in our own little rooms where everything is familiar. We confuse safety with happiness, and therefore we live lives of perceived contentment. Then there is God. He’s like me, Micah’s father (for the sake of analogy…don’t go screaming blasphemy just yet). He knows the life that He has for us outside our little world. A home, a family, hope, a future, joy like we have never experienced before that would make what we have settled for as happiness in our little room seem like a solitary light bulb compared to the light of the sun. But we are scared of the unknown. So we lock our knees in defiance and fear. But that room is the place where God meets us in our own lives and gives us a little taste of what His family is like. We’ve been in that room before. And we have been scared, so we have cried to return to our own safe world, despite the world of unknown and never-before-dreamed-of joy and fulfillment that is available to us if we just trusted the one wiser than us. The good news for Micah is that 9 days from now, regardless of his choice we are going to step into his life and take him out of his little world to his home where he will grow and thrive, where he will never be alone, where he will belong forever. With God, we have to choose to leave the room with Him. How many times have you been in the room with Him, only to run back out the door? Sacrificed joy for safety? Traded freedom for the prison of your four walls because it’s all you know? If you believe that Sara and I know what’s best for Micah, why wouldn’t the creator of the universe know what is best for the children he loves and gave his life for?

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11

"You Win!"

This morning came with prayer already on my lips. We had spent hours the night before taking and studying notes of answers to potential questions from the judge. We quizzed each other, bouncing questions back and forth like ping pong. By the time we reached bedtime, we were pretty happy with the responses that we had prepared. But the nerves started to kick in at first light, and the praying began. With first court hearing of the day, we only had time to eat breakfast and get dressed before it was time to go. We quizzed each other again all through breakfast, showering, and dressing. Then one last prayer time, and we were out the door and waiting on the steps to the apartment for our drive to the courthouse.

Though cool enough outside to see your breath, the sun was shining bright and felt warm on my face. I looked up at the sky and soaked in the sun, and a peace settled over me. I knew that so many people back home were praying for Aleksandr, and that we had done all the Lord had called us to do up to this point. We were ready. I knew the prayers had started.

The van came nearly 15 minutes late (traffic), and we sped to court (with much honking by our driver...and I think a few illegal turns). It was minutes after we arrived that we were whisked into the courtroom. This one was downstairs, and was a much smaller room with 5 desks and some basement-style windows in one corner. The Russian seal sat over the desk that would be the judge's, and a Russian flag adorned the wall next to it, serving both as monument and it appeared to cover some sort of electrical box in the wall. The prosecutor sat on the desk on the left, the court reporter on the right, and the Ministry of Education representative and Orphanage Director at the table to our right. Sara and I sat next to our interpreter at the table on the left. As I sat staring at the Seal, I felt an overwhelming sense that everything was going to be ok. I could feel the prayers at that moment, and I smiled. I took a deep breath, and lifted up the court hearing one more time.

I spent the next 45 minutes answering a barrage of questions, starting with what in the name of Siberia would possess a family of 6 to even dream of adopting another child. Uhh.....in my mind I'm asking myself the same thing. That's how it began, and it quickly turned to questions of finances, the banking crisis in America, savings for college, homeschooling, our house, and the kids' social lives. This was the same judge we had last time. She is extremely fair and good-natured, but she gets to the point. And she cares about these kids. She even toyed with me by having me sit down, thinking I was finished, and then making me get up again to answer more questions (how cruel!).

Sara's questioning was much shorter, with Sara becoming emotional at one point and breaking into tears relating a story about how Elijah came up to her one day and declared "I love brothers!" I think this scored a few points with the judge. After the Orphanage Director and Ministry of Education representative spoke to the judge on our behalf, giving their approval, we were asked to leave the room for just a few short minutes. A few more prayers, and we were back in. The judge began to read the conclusions. I waited for the words, and then I heard them. "Court grants the petition of adoption" and tears welled up in my eyes. I'm not sure what she said after that. All I know is we said thank you in a daze as the judge exited the room. We thanked the prosecutor and court reporter, as well as the Ministry of Education rep and Orphanage Director, and we were out. We quickly exited the court building, not wanting to give anyone any time to change their mind. As we walked through the doors, our coordinator turned to us, threw her arms up and said "You Win!" I guess that sums it up.

One more to leave you with. A few days before we left, Sara walked into Elijah's room and saw him sitting on the floor with his hands crossed and his eyes shut. As she entered the room, she asked him what he was doing. He replied "I'm praying for Micah." Ok, two to leave you with. Here is a story related to me just an hour after court by my mother, who is watching the boys. It was 7:45pm west coast time, which was 10:45am for us, right about the time Sara was standing up making her plea for Aleksandr. My mother was putting Elijah to bed, and he turned to her and said, "We need to pray." With no prompting from my mother, he began to pray for Micah and the adoption. Let me ask you something. Do you believe that prayer works? And do you believe that God speaks to people? My hope from all of this is that you would realize that God is at work through his people. He speaks to his people today just as clearly as he did in the days of Moses. Two little brothers are going to be united in a home that loves the Lord and will forever tell them that God loves them because His people believed in miracles, and chose to be a part of one. Thank you!

JP

Relief!

Elmo giving the "thumbs up" to the court decision.

If It Doesn't Break Your Heart...

We finally got to see Aleksandr again this afternoon! It was a wonderful visit. Pretty much what we expected. He probably cried a little more that we had hoped, but he was very willing to receive comfort from Sara and showed her a lot of affection. As for me, as we all know I'm a big, scary bald guy so I don't hold it against him. I can't believe how similar he is to his brother! The same games we play in the orphanage. He even eats the same. I swear we could watch video on Elijah's adoption and not know the difference (except no yellow tights and girly outfits with frills and lace for Aleksandr). We got some great pictures and video. We got to show the orphanage director pictures of Elijah from home. We even saw his framed picture that we brought last trip still sitting on her desk. She loved the pictures. If only we could just submit those to court. We'd get a "da" no problem. On the drive to and from the orphanage we were coached on questioning from the court. We are pretty confident of the responses we are going to give. We just hope that none of the documents pose any problems with the judge. We spent the rest of the evening taking notes and practicing our responses. Now it is time to try to get some sleep and get up early to practice some more while we get dressed and ready to go.

Meeting Aleksandr today just solidified the fact that we are doing the right thing. He deserves a chance. He deserves a hope. He deserves a future. We have seen the changes in Elijah. Aleksandr deserves to have those changes too. I'm reminded of a line in a Switchfoot song. "If it doesn't break your heart, it isn't love." Love isn't always easy, and this process of loving Aleksandr has been anything but easy. And the stress over court tomorrow is not something we are enjoying right now or will be enjoying while we are going through it tomorrow. But that's exactly what makes it so right. So I will try to embrace the pain in the name of love for a little boy that just needs someone to stand up for him in a suit and tie and be a little uncomfortable for his sake...

JP

For At Least One Day

Hey friends! We made it to Krasnoyarsk safely and are settled in the apartment that will be our home for the next 2 1/2 weeks. It is wonderful! Much nicer than the hotel, with kitchen for cooking and living room for relaxing. And less expensive too! Win-win! We just relaxed the first day, since we got in from Moscow at about 5am local time. We spent a few hours in the afternoon with a couple of families. One woman we met through the "People Who Have Adopted from Krasnoyarsk" Facebook group (yes, there is such a thing). She is here picking up her 2 year-old son. We also met another couple that have lived here for a number of years now and are working in country doing missions work. They lived in Temecula for a short time. Small world! We had a great time having pizza together for dinner. When you are in a country where no one else speaks your language, it is easy to feel a little alone. So those times spent with others that not only share your language but share your heart as well are extra special.

The next day we explored the city from our apartment. We are a couple of blocks from a flea market and farmer's market. We had a great time wading through the sea of booths, pretending not to hear people as they tried to sell us things. I bought a pair of sunglasses (I should have bargained but I didn't and probably paid too much) and we bought a bunch of fruits and vegetables to make fajita salad for dinner. It was tasty, and I think we are passed the cut-off for food poisoning, so I'm pretty sure we're ok. We hiked up to the top of the hill where a beautiful church is and an amazing view of the whole city. Definitely got our exercise for the day. Took some great pictures.

We are off to the orphanage today to see Aleksandr for the first time in 5 months! There is excitement mixed with trepidation as we are not sure if this is the last time we will see him or just the beginning. But we have asked people to pray while we are in court and we know that God is ultimately in control. I guess that is one of the hard parts that I've had to wrestle with. The ways of God are not always the ways of men. The knowledge that God could have a completely different plan for Aleksandr's life and ours just as likely as He could want him to be in our family is a double-edged sword. While there is a certain measure of peace in the fact that nothing can thwart what God wants for Aleksandr (a judge, our words in court, our finances), there is also a little pain in the possibility that Aleksandr might not be united with his brother. That is what is making this journey so much different than Elijah's. But I knew full well that God had new things in store for us to learn this time around, and for that I am thankful. Even though tomorrow is not promised, today for at least one day in his life we will give Aleksandr a dad and a mom. He deserves this much, this special little boy...

JP

(p.s. In case you are wondering what the deal is with all the Elmo pictures, on Elijah's adoption trips we brought Curious George so that we could put together a book, "Curious George Goes to Russia" to document Elijah's adoption journey. This time around, it's "Elmo Visit's Russia". Plus, every day that I email the boys back home I send each of them a new Elmo picture.)

Elmo at the Farmer's Market

Elmo at the church at the top of the hill.

Pine Tree Pants

So we decided to take a chance and stay someplace different in Moscow. Last two times in Moscow we stayed at the Marriott Teverskaya, which I hate to say was extremely overpriced for what you got in return. So this time around we decided to try the Holiday Inn Lesnaya, just 2 blocks from the Marriott and nearly half the price. Score a win in our column. A very nice hotel, and we are definitely happy with the choice. We will definitely stay there on our return trip.

We had our medical appointments Friday morning in Moscow. A different clinic than last adoption (this one actually serves many of the government employees, and famous ones at that), but the same drill. Undressing in front of strange people speaking a strange language (what’s not to like about that?). Sara was especially uncomfortable with the breast exam by a doctor that looked an awful lot like Pee Wee Herman. But we passed with flying colors. The doctors were more disturbed that there was nothing seemingly wrong with us. We almost felt like we needed to start making stuff up to seem more “normal”.

Leaving our medical appointments, we actually saw a Russian movie star on the side of the road hailing a cab. That and a ruble will get us, well…nearly nothing but it was cool nevertheless. Got to the airport nearly 5 hours early for our flight to Krasnoyarsk, so we had a lot of time to kill. Sara actually fell asleep on the floor next to the gate, that’s how tired she was. Also, the people-watching in Moscow Airport is great. Saw a man wearing what we can only guess were some kind of camouflage pants, but instead of splotches of different earth-tones, they had pictures of pine trees on them. I’m sorry, I don’t think even a deer would be fooled by those, let alone a trained soldier. That and playing the “how does she not trip and fall in those boots” game helped pass the time.

The red-eye to Krasnoyarsk was uneventful, and we were pleased to learn of the option of staying at an apartment instead of the hotel this time. The apartment is not only cheaper, but much nicer. Full kitchen and dining room will cut down considerably on costs! We are excited to meet a couple of Americans here in Russia tonight, one doing missions work and one completing an adoption. After that, we are looking forward to a full night’s sleep and a day tomorrow to get acclimated. Then it’s off to visit Aleksandr at the orphanage on Monday and court on Tuesday.

Keep those prayers coming!

JP

We're In Russia...again!

Well, friends. We have officially arrived in Russia! It was definitely a tough parting at my parent’s house leaving the boys. I guess knowing how hard it was last time has made this time a little tougher for everyone. Our adventure actually began before we left. Our van only “kind of” works, and our intention was to rent a van to drive the kids up the coast to Ventura County to my parent’s house on Tuesday night. But when I found out how expensive it was going to be, we decided to take the chance. We didn’t get on the freeway until after 9pm, and had to do around 55mph in the slow lane the whole way because the van won’t shift out of third gear. But with a lot of prayer, we arrived safely a little after midnight, fully loaded with 6 people, 1 dog, 7 suitcases, 6 backpacks, and the dog food. It was a sight to behold.

The flight out of LAX was a little late in parting, but the flight was fairly uneventful. Out of all the movie choices we had on the plane, both Sara and I managed to pick movies that we couldn’t make it all the way through, shutting them off after about an hour. (We’ll know for the return trip.) We just got checked into our hotel room at the Holiday Inn Lesnaya. Last trip we stayed at the Marriot Teverskaya, which was extremely expensive and not worth the money. This time we picked the Holiday Inn, which is $100+ cheaper. It is very nice! Took a chance when we booked it back at home, and it is definitely worth it. We used our hot pot that we brought for the trip, heating up chicken and dumplings packed from home. Tasty! And it worked like a charm. We’ll be eating much better this time around.

We are getting ready to Skype the kids for the first time, and then it will be time to get some rest. We have our medical appointments tomorrow, so we need to start round two of prayers. I’m sure this hurdle will go ok. Immediately after our appointments, we hop a plane to Krasnoyarsk, arriving Saturday morning. It will probably be from Krasnoyarsk when we post again. Thanks for all your prayers!

JP

(p.s. Got to listen to one of my favorite Christmas songs, “Oh Holy Night” in the van driving from the Moscow Airport to our hotel. I guess no time is bad time for Christmas songs here in Russia…)