In response to hearing of the end of two adoption stories in the same day (one through the chat group and one with a close friend), I felt that I needed to offer a word of encouragement to all adoptive families. My heart is broken. For the adoptive families. For the children struggling to thrive. For those trying to repair just a few small pieces of this broken world we live in. So this goes out to those still fighting the battle with their children. Those that feel like they are banging their heads against a wall. Those struggling each morning to get up and start another day. May the wisdom in the words of the Lord be an encouragement to you.
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” 1 Peter 4:12-13.
Peter is referring to spiritual persecution in this verse. However, anyone that has been involved in adoption, especially adoption from a Russian orphanage knows full well that there is heavy spiritual warfare going on, the kind that we are not used to seeing here in the U.S.. And it does not end once we get home with our children. In the face of the daily “persecution” that we have endured in the 3 ½ years we have been home with Elijah, a common reaction has been to wonder why God would have us go through this hardship. Maybe we were wrong when we believed that it was “God’s will” to pursue Elijah’s adoption. But then I open the Bible. And I see a book replete with suffering. Abraham is asked by God to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Joseph is sold by his brothers into slavery. David is being pursued by King Saul. The Israelites are exiled from their homeland. Paul is imprisoned. Stephen is stoned. Jesus is tortured and executed. And the story has not ended there. Jews were slaughtered by Hitler. Jim Eliot and friends murdered. Christians in numerous countries have been persecuted, tortured, and killed. And to those who have chosen the road of adoption, the spiritual battle continues daily in the home. Sara has endured physical and emotional abuse, as well as permanent hearing loss in her right ear from the screaming. The brothers have been hit, yelled at, and had their possessions destroyed. Food has flown. The home stress level has grown exponentially. Our marriage has been pushed to the brink. Our faith has often times seemed dim at best. But then we remember the following verse:
“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9.
I don’t believe that “the proper time” necessarily refers to any time in our life here on Earth. Don’t get me wrong. We have seen some small rewards here in Escondido. Elijah giving Sara a hug and saying “I love you” without prompting. Or Elijah being led by the Spirit to pray with his grandma at the exact moment we were sitting in court halfway across the world pleading for the life of his biological brother, Micah. But if we were to make a list, Hardships is giving Rewards a pretty hefty beating up to this point. Like watching the Los Angeles Dodgers play my 11-year-old son’s Little League team. I have read through the entire Bible, and I have yet to find the section that promises me an easy life free of suffering, for either me or my wife or my children. In fact, in all I’ve read it promises me the opposite.
“After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. ‘Follow me,’ Jesus said to him, and Levi got up, left everything and followed him.” Luke 5:27-28.
Jesus asked people to “follow him”. To “take my yoke upon you and learn from me”. To do the things that he would do. As Paul said, “to speak as though God himself were speaking” through us. And his road led to suffering, and ultimately death and resurrection. I have always believed that the mission of adoption has been about following Jesus first, before any of the other purposes. Why would I expect our journey to be any different than his? And should I be surprised at the suffering? Or should I embrace it?
“Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.” James 5:10-11.
Friends. Keep fighting the battle. It is a worthy one. And in all the stories I referred to above, the end result was always the same. The name of our Lord was glorified. Yours will end the same. I’m confident of that.
Jeremy Park
