One Day at a Time

Visit #5 with Micah was probably the toughest one yet. Except for a 10-minute spell while Sara was rocking him in her lap, he cried the entire time. We were in a different room this time with similar play equipment, just smaller. It was one of their “sensory” rooms. The bright colors and lights are supposed to be stimulating to the kids, but I can’t help but think that they make a person just want to leave as quickly as possible. There was a window open, but with no cross breeze it quickly got very warm, what with holding a squirming, crying child and all. Once his 2-hour prison sentence with us was finished, Sara was able to walk with him back to his room. His room is on the third floor, and he led her straight down the hall, around the corner, and up three flights of stairs right to his room. Upon entering, he sat down, took off his shoes, and he was off like a rocket to whatever his room had to hold. No “paca, paca”. Just gone.

I’m thankful that Sara and I have experienced adoption before, because if this was our first time I don’t know how we would be anything other than super disappointed. As it is, we are still struggling with the fact that he doesn’t seem to be relaxing at all with us. The psychiatrist at the orphanage said that he is extremely attached to his caretakers, which is great news for us in the future. Unfortunately, it makes now extremely difficult. We second-guess whether we should visit him in the orphanage at all or just hang tight until we pick him up for good. I’m sure he doesn’t enjoy crying for 2 hours, and certainly it’s no picnic for us either. But we are taking it a day at a time, and praying for wisdom along the way. We are pretty certain though that if today’s visit is like yesterday’s, we will forego the final 2 visits and just pick him up on Friday. We will keep you posted as to how the day goes…

At Home Halfway Around the World

Yesterday was another great day. We were fortunate enough to get attend church service in the morning at a Baptist church here in Krasnoyarsk. The building looked very much the authentic Russian church building, but without the icons and incense filling the inside. Instead, there was the familiar sight of modern-day sound and video equipment, a traditional choir up in front and four singers, piano, and violin. There was a lot of worship singing (no Chris Tomlin, though), a kid’s message about Palm Sunday, more singing, baby dedication, marital engagements, more singing, a wonderful message about the importance of the young people in the church, more singing, announcements, and I think more singing. All together a 2 hour and 15 minute affair, and I loved every minute of it. I raised my hand when asked if there were any new visitors, and I received a New Testament and Psalms in Russian (a Bible was actually the one souvenir I really wanted on this trip!). I even was approached during the service by a man who came from all the way on the other side of the church to tell me that he hadn’t seen me in 20 years and to find out how I was doing. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t here when I was 13, but I shook his hand and thanked him anyway. The message was from Mark 10, about Jesus rebuking the disciples for not letting the children come to him, and then telling them “…anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Being here in Russia ministering to the needs of a little child, I could relate perfectly. Sara and I had a long conversation later that evening about the young generation here needs to spark the church here to make an impact. There is still much work to be done here.

Following church, I got the privilege of riding in the back seat with my two new friends, Steven and Jonathan, as we talked about sports and I explained to them the finer points of a California Burrito (they didn’t seem nearly as excited as I was). We were going to have a picnic outside, but the stiff wind coming off the river and the sprinkles that began to fall forced a retreat back to the home of our new friends, Tim and Iris, instead. We also got to meet Sy, who was just united with his new mom and grandmother as they begin the journey home and he begins his new life outside the orphanage. He is 2 ½ and super sweet. I couldn’t believe his vocabulary, either. The boy could practically carry on a conversation. Elijah was the same age when we picked him up and all we could get out of him was “nyet”. And if crying is talking then I guess Micah has a great vocabulary, but I can’t make heads or tails of it. It was just a blessing watching Sy play with Steven and Jonathan. That little boy’s going to do alright. We spent the afternoon visiting with friends, and I got to play a little Siberian baseball in the backyard. No Little League here. Maybe I should come back and start something up. We didn’t want the afternoon to end. It’s amazing how you can feel at home halfway around the world when you are with friends.

We are excited to begin a new week with Micah. We will be bringing him out of the orphanage on Friday. Wow! We are praying for some big-time progress with him this week, and can’t wait for the big day. The other boys had a wonderful day at Silver Dollar City Amusement Park in Branson, Missouri, and are on the road heading north to Minnesota as we speak. More updates to come soon…

JP

Stolby

Yesterday we had the incredible opportunity to hike up to Stolby Forest just outside of Krasnoyarsk. Our new friends here arranged for one of their friends, a cab driver named Andrey, to give us a ride to the park and back. Saved us from taking the bus, which is an adventure in itself. Andrey apologized for his poor English, which was light-years better than our Russian. We had a nice conversation. He is a man with a truly wonderful heart. The drive instead of taking the bus saved us about 1 1/2 miles of hiking each way, which was nice. But we still had our work cut out for us. When I say we hiked "up" to Stolby, that's exactly what it was. UP! Just to get to the first of the beautiful rock formations was at least 3 miles up hill. The morning started out frigid with the sun not yet overhead. Snow was still very much on the ground and the road up was covered in slush. We were feeling fairly underdressed in tennis shoes, pants, and a fleece over a t-shirt. But we quickly warmed up as the blood started pumping. An absolutely beautiful hike up to the pillars (Stolby means "pillar" in Russian). We ate lunch on one of the rocks, thought about climbing up one of the big pillars and then thought better of it (found out later from Andrey that the memorial we saw at the base of the park was for all the people that have died at Stolby from falling off the rocks. Good call after all.). We took a bunch of pictures, including some of Elmo rock climbing and making a snowman, and just enjoyed every second we were there. We slipped and slid our way down the trail heading back and the legs felt the burn by the time we reached the bottom. We had a truly wonderful day, and we are looking forward to going to church this morning with friends and having lunch afterward. With all this fun, we are not going to want to come home...

JP

Daddy TV

Trips #3 and #4 to the orphanage have been very similar. Micah is still very much the scared little boy at this point. Both visits start and end with crying. Visit #3 was spent mostly watching what we have called “Daddy TV”, in which I find any number of goofy games to play while he sits on mommy’s lap and watches from a distance. This particular episode included me bowling over plastic pins with a rubber ball and juggling. Episode #4 of the show included the balancing of rubber rings on my head. Visit #3 we got to give (or rather attempt to give) him his snack, some sort of oatmeal with a glaze on top and tea, but that wasn’t happening. His caretaker finally got him to eat it when she came in to pick him up. Visit #4 included his lunch, where we watched him feed himself while the caretaker helped him. This meal included the following: a full bowl of borsch (a beet soup), a full plate of mashed potatoes with vegetables, two large slices of bread and a cup of juice, all eaten with a spoon about the size of his head. I got full just watching him. We are both thankful that we have done this before and understand how these transitions can work, because it is a fight not to get a little discouraged at the slow rate of progress. But there is still progress. The first visits, no goodbyes. Just “get me outta’ here” as quickly as possible. Now, as familiarity grows, we get goodbye’s when we leave and a lot more physical interaction. But as long as there still is another place and another caretaker to go to, we will never really make the necessary progress. We are looking forward to the week we will have him only in our care before we return home. I believe that is when we will take our biggest strides.

We have been keeping ourselves very busy here, experiencing a ton more than we did the past three times we’ve been here. On Tuesday night we attended a professional basketball game, complete with 3 American players. The local team, “Yenesi”, won by one point. They were losing for the entire game, then took the lead with 17 seconds to go. It was pretty exciting for all involved, because they’ve only won 9 out of over 30 games all season. That was #10! We have done a lot more exploring. We found the flea market. We’ve hiked to the top of the hill with the church on it and that houses the “Russia” sign (Krasnoyarsk’s equivalent of the Hollywood sign). We explored the mall yesterday. The entire bottom floor was just shoes! I’m not kidding. Shoes! I have never seen so many shoes in all my life! Last night we attended our first ballet. In Russia of all places. It was amazing! And at only about $8 a seat for nice, center seats, we couldn’t beat it. No, I’m not ashamed to admit it. I enjoyed the ballet!

No orphanage trips this weekend, so we are going to do some more sightseeing and hopefully attend church on Sunday. The boys landed safely in Arkansas yesterday, so they are excited to spend the last part of their trip with Sara’s parents, visiting cousins and fishing and all that. Thanks for all your continued prayers. Only 2 weeks until we return home!

J

Elmo catching a basketball game

Daddy feeding his way into Micah's heart

The Russian Ballet

Good Gifts

Day 1 as Micah’s parents has officially come and gone. We got to visit him in the orphanage, still 10 days from bringing him out for good. And both Sara and I believe that the wait is a blessing in disguise. We are going to need every minute of time we have with him during those 10 days. Our visit was in the afternoon again, just the second visit since we have been back in Russia. And apparently he remembered that he was dropped off two days ago with strange people, because as he rounded the staircase and caught sight of the doorway of the playroom where we were waiting for him, he put on the breaks, stiffening both legs and looking very much like a waterskier as his slick-soled sandels scraped across the tile floor. Voicing his displeasure, he entered the room ultimately in the arms of his caretaker. Much of the visit proceeded in like fashion. He spent the better part of the first hour crying. A hefty portion of his apprehension was supplied by yours-truly. (That’s what I live for. Scaring small children. I thought the Halloween monster mask with blood-tinged fangs was a good idea. The perfect ice-breaker). The response is really not much different than it was with Elijah, except Micah is about 6 months younger than Elijah was and as a result, is just a touch more apprehensive. But once I relegated myself to one corner of the room assembling a collection of Cinderella puzzles (I killed those bad boys so fast!), he settled down and began to play. It was from this vantage point that I was able to catch on camera his first smiles as Sara tickled him.

As the afternoon progressed, I was able to work my way closer to him, much like a Navy SEAL, belly crawling behind foam-filled couches and ducking behind stacked foam blocks, occasionally peeking from behind to see that I was not spotted. With a wall of multi-colored blocks as a barrier, I slowly extended the video camera out from behind, training the lens on Micah sitting in Sara’s lap. I then angled the viewfinder towards me, using it as a periscope so that I could watch my son play. By the end of our visit though, I was able to come out from behind the wall, and we rolled a small ball back and forth together as I cherished every toss. At this point, they are the little things that are so important. But you should have seen him when the door opened and his caretaker stepped in. GAME OVER! Remember the cartoons where Scooby-Do and Shaggy would be frightened by something popping up behind them? They would jump up and their feet would start running franticly before they even touched the ground? Got the mental picture? Yeah, pretty much like that. No “good-bye”. Just “get me outta here, man!” (or the Russian equivalent).

If you have read this blog before, you know that this is the part where I wax philosophical on you. Much like Fred Rogers from the popular Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood children’s show would take off his “house shoes” and put his loafers back on, throw the old-man coat over his sweater while singing “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…”, I can’t wrap up this episode without it. You would somehow feel slighted. Taken advantage of. Ripped off. I just don’t think I could live with myself knowing that I caused you so much pain. So here goes. I know on the surface it could sound like Micah’s response this past visit was negative. A bad sign. And while unfortunate, I don’t know how anyone could realistically expect anything different. The orphanage is my son’s home. His small room is his whole world. His caretakers are his mom and dad. His playmates are his brothers and sisters. At this moment, who am I? A stranger. Someone to be feared. What is the playroom where we visit him? Just a place where he feels alone and scared. Here’s where the truth of our life and God come into clear focus. All of us at many different times in our lives and in myriad ways are Micah. We are comfortable and safe in our own little rooms where everything is familiar. We confuse safety with happiness, and therefore we live lives of perceived contentment. Then there is God. He’s like me, Micah’s father (for the sake of analogy…don’t go screaming blasphemy just yet). He knows the life that He has for us outside our little world. A home, a family, hope, a future, joy like we have never experienced before that would make what we have settled for as happiness in our little room seem like a solitary light bulb compared to the light of the sun. But we are scared of the unknown. So we lock our knees in defiance and fear. But that room is the place where God meets us in our own lives and gives us a little taste of what His family is like. We’ve been in that room before. And we have been scared, so we have cried to return to our own safe world, despite the world of unknown and never-before-dreamed-of joy and fulfillment that is available to us if we just trusted the one wiser than us. The good news for Micah is that 9 days from now, regardless of his choice we are going to step into his life and take him out of his little world to his home where he will grow and thrive, where he will never be alone, where he will belong forever. With God, we have to choose to leave the room with Him. How many times have you been in the room with Him, only to run back out the door? Sacrificed joy for safety? Traded freedom for the prison of your four walls because it’s all you know? If you believe that Sara and I know what’s best for Micah, why wouldn’t the creator of the universe know what is best for the children he loves and gave his life for?

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11

"You Win!"

This morning came with prayer already on my lips. We had spent hours the night before taking and studying notes of answers to potential questions from the judge. We quizzed each other, bouncing questions back and forth like ping pong. By the time we reached bedtime, we were pretty happy with the responses that we had prepared. But the nerves started to kick in at first light, and the praying began. With first court hearing of the day, we only had time to eat breakfast and get dressed before it was time to go. We quizzed each other again all through breakfast, showering, and dressing. Then one last prayer time, and we were out the door and waiting on the steps to the apartment for our drive to the courthouse.

Though cool enough outside to see your breath, the sun was shining bright and felt warm on my face. I looked up at the sky and soaked in the sun, and a peace settled over me. I knew that so many people back home were praying for Aleksandr, and that we had done all the Lord had called us to do up to this point. We were ready. I knew the prayers had started.

The van came nearly 15 minutes late (traffic), and we sped to court (with much honking by our driver...and I think a few illegal turns). It was minutes after we arrived that we were whisked into the courtroom. This one was downstairs, and was a much smaller room with 5 desks and some basement-style windows in one corner. The Russian seal sat over the desk that would be the judge's, and a Russian flag adorned the wall next to it, serving both as monument and it appeared to cover some sort of electrical box in the wall. The prosecutor sat on the desk on the left, the court reporter on the right, and the Ministry of Education representative and Orphanage Director at the table to our right. Sara and I sat next to our interpreter at the table on the left. As I sat staring at the Seal, I felt an overwhelming sense that everything was going to be ok. I could feel the prayers at that moment, and I smiled. I took a deep breath, and lifted up the court hearing one more time.

I spent the next 45 minutes answering a barrage of questions, starting with what in the name of Siberia would possess a family of 6 to even dream of adopting another child. Uhh.....in my mind I'm asking myself the same thing. That's how it began, and it quickly turned to questions of finances, the banking crisis in America, savings for college, homeschooling, our house, and the kids' social lives. This was the same judge we had last time. She is extremely fair and good-natured, but she gets to the point. And she cares about these kids. She even toyed with me by having me sit down, thinking I was finished, and then making me get up again to answer more questions (how cruel!).

Sara's questioning was much shorter, with Sara becoming emotional at one point and breaking into tears relating a story about how Elijah came up to her one day and declared "I love brothers!" I think this scored a few points with the judge. After the Orphanage Director and Ministry of Education representative spoke to the judge on our behalf, giving their approval, we were asked to leave the room for just a few short minutes. A few more prayers, and we were back in. The judge began to read the conclusions. I waited for the words, and then I heard them. "Court grants the petition of adoption" and tears welled up in my eyes. I'm not sure what she said after that. All I know is we said thank you in a daze as the judge exited the room. We thanked the prosecutor and court reporter, as well as the Ministry of Education rep and Orphanage Director, and we were out. We quickly exited the court building, not wanting to give anyone any time to change their mind. As we walked through the doors, our coordinator turned to us, threw her arms up and said "You Win!" I guess that sums it up.

One more to leave you with. A few days before we left, Sara walked into Elijah's room and saw him sitting on the floor with his hands crossed and his eyes shut. As she entered the room, she asked him what he was doing. He replied "I'm praying for Micah." Ok, two to leave you with. Here is a story related to me just an hour after court by my mother, who is watching the boys. It was 7:45pm west coast time, which was 10:45am for us, right about the time Sara was standing up making her plea for Aleksandr. My mother was putting Elijah to bed, and he turned to her and said, "We need to pray." With no prompting from my mother, he began to pray for Micah and the adoption. Let me ask you something. Do you believe that prayer works? And do you believe that God speaks to people? My hope from all of this is that you would realize that God is at work through his people. He speaks to his people today just as clearly as he did in the days of Moses. Two little brothers are going to be united in a home that loves the Lord and will forever tell them that God loves them because His people believed in miracles, and chose to be a part of one. Thank you!

JP

Relief!

Elmo giving the "thumbs up" to the court decision.

If It Doesn't Break Your Heart...

We finally got to see Aleksandr again this afternoon! It was a wonderful visit. Pretty much what we expected. He probably cried a little more that we had hoped, but he was very willing to receive comfort from Sara and showed her a lot of affection. As for me, as we all know I'm a big, scary bald guy so I don't hold it against him. I can't believe how similar he is to his brother! The same games we play in the orphanage. He even eats the same. I swear we could watch video on Elijah's adoption and not know the difference (except no yellow tights and girly outfits with frills and lace for Aleksandr). We got some great pictures and video. We got to show the orphanage director pictures of Elijah from home. We even saw his framed picture that we brought last trip still sitting on her desk. She loved the pictures. If only we could just submit those to court. We'd get a "da" no problem. On the drive to and from the orphanage we were coached on questioning from the court. We are pretty confident of the responses we are going to give. We just hope that none of the documents pose any problems with the judge. We spent the rest of the evening taking notes and practicing our responses. Now it is time to try to get some sleep and get up early to practice some more while we get dressed and ready to go.

Meeting Aleksandr today just solidified the fact that we are doing the right thing. He deserves a chance. He deserves a hope. He deserves a future. We have seen the changes in Elijah. Aleksandr deserves to have those changes too. I'm reminded of a line in a Switchfoot song. "If it doesn't break your heart, it isn't love." Love isn't always easy, and this process of loving Aleksandr has been anything but easy. And the stress over court tomorrow is not something we are enjoying right now or will be enjoying while we are going through it tomorrow. But that's exactly what makes it so right. So I will try to embrace the pain in the name of love for a little boy that just needs someone to stand up for him in a suit and tie and be a little uncomfortable for his sake...

JP