More Documents!

I can't believe what a relief it is not to have to worry about the adoption expenses anymore. I still find myself with my mouth open sitting there in disbelief that we have all of the funds to finish this. This weight off of our shoulders definitely makes today's news much more bearable. Our agency has given us a list of additional documents needed for court. This is good news because it means that the someone (possibly the court) is looking at our file. If this is the case, we could be getting our court date call soon. The problem is that these docs are proving to be like most of the others, impossible to get. We have literally been either on the phone or the computer all day trying to get something - anything done! The police clearances that we had are not acceptable and need to be re-done. This we found out could take up to 8 weeks! By the way, we have had to have our fingerprints and background checks taken 5 times already since the beginning of this process. Along with that, we are at a complete impasse as far as getting the letter from our homestudy agency about the license. It seems nobody wants to budge on the wording of the document. And, if that wasn't enough for one day, we also found out that the grant deed that we submitted is not acceptable to the court either because it only mentions the property and not the house. So, we are now trying to locate other documents from the county recorders office with more "specific" information. But, like I said, it is much easier to handle all of this news knowing that the major financial hurdle has been passed. Thank you again for all of you that have donated and prayed for us. Please keep us in your prayers as we try to complete this next set of documents.

God - Provider

We are so happy and relieved to finally say that God has provided us with enough money to finish our adoption! This is truly nothing shorter than a miracle for our family. What an amazing and faithful God we serve. His provision is exact and his timing is perfect. Even though adoption costs are always rising, and unexpected expenses are sure to come up, we know without a doubt that God will always supply all of our needs. We are so excited to move forward in our amazing journey in bringing Mikhail home.

Philippians 4: 19-20
And my God will meet all of your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Misha's Babushka

We thought now would be an appropriate time to call attention to a person who hates to be called to attention. But I'm going to do it anyway. I know a woman who is the essence of selfless love and giving. She has been a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen all through this process. Once a bit skeptical of this whole adoption thing at the beginning, she has since embraced this call with everything that she has, giving of both time and money, using the gifts that God has given her to do God's work here on earth. I am honored to call her my mother, and Misha's grandmother (Babushka). To the right is just one example of her special gifts that she has given to Misha and to this adoption: his first blanket and his first teddy bear (Misha means bear), complete with matching blanket and "Misha" embroidered on the pants leg. Thank you so much, grandma, for all you have done for us and for Misha. Your example of Christ's selfless love is a daily example to our family. We can't wait until the picture is complete with Misha sitting right next to his bear, with that precious little smirk on his face.

Though it looks like our court date is not going to come until May instead of April, we know that it is all in God's timing and that all will be as it should be soon.

JP

(On an extra positive note, our doctor agreed to order our redo set of labs, set to be completed anytime in April. (These ones shouldn't expire) The sore throat that prompted me to go see the doctor was definitely God's doing for sure. I'll take the pain for the promise.)

I Am An Israelite

I am an Israelite.
I have sweated under a lifetime of fruitless labor.
I have cried out for a savior.
I have heard the spoken words of one sent to rescue me.
I have witnessed with my own eyes many signs and wonders.
I have been set free from my bondage.
I have seen waters parted for me.
I have been provided bread, meat, and water when I thought none would come tomorrow.
I have turned my back on the one who saved me.
I have been forgiven.
I have seen the Glory shining on the face of one touched by God.
I have seen the land He has promised me if I just trust Him.
But I have forgotten what He has done for me thus far.
And I have cried out "Would that we had died in the land of Egypt!"

I am an Israelite.
I have sweated under a lifetime of living for myself.
I have cried out for a savior.
I have heard the words of Jesus speak to me that he came to rescue me from myself, and told me to live for love of the less fortunate, the poor, the widows, the orphans...one orphan in particular.
I have witnessed with my own eyes God working in our adoption process from the beginning, providing in miraculous ways.
I have finally felt , after a lifetime of thinking I knew, what it truly means to live for God and in a relationship with him.
I have seen doors opened all along the way during our adoption process.
I have seen God provide for our needs, even when we were not sure how we were going to make it through the month.
I have struggled with trusting Him every day.
I have been forgiven.
I have seen the face of Jesus in that of an orphaned boy in Russia.
I have seen and visited the boy He has promised me if I just trust in Him.
But I have forgotten what He was done for me thus far.
I have cried out "It would have been easier if we never even started this process!"

Yesterday, when the gravity of not getting the much-needed adoption grant finally settled on me, I succumbed to my own selfishness and doubt. I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. But I did not see myself staring back at me. I saw an Israelite. All through my life, when I heard the story of the Israelites grumbling in the desert so soon after God's amazing provision, I in my depth of spiritual wisdom and understanding would say "What's their problem?", "Have they so easily forgotten what God has done for them?". Yet last night I sat, no different than they, and feeling horrible for it. I went to my room and opened my Bible, thumbing through the pages to find the story of me.

And there I was in Numbers 14, whining and complaining to God. And there was God's response to me "...how long will they (me) not believe in Me, despite all the signs which I have performed in their midst?" Number 14:11.

So I read on until I came to Moses' prayer for the people, and it became my prayer. "But now, I pray, let the power of the Lord be great, just as though hast declared, 'The Lord is slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, forgiving iniquity and transgression'...Pardon, I pray, the iniquity of this people according to the greatness of Thy lovingkindness, just as Thou also hast forgiven this people, from Egypt even until now." Numbers 11:18-19.

I have been forgiven for my doubt, and

I will not forget what He has done for us during this adoption.
I will not give up faith that Mikhail will come home to us.
I will not stop trusting that God is in control.
I will be an Israelite no more.

JP

ENCOURAGEMENT

After writing my last blog entry, I was reminded of this video that was shared on another blog, so I decided to post it here. I hope you find it as encouraging as I found it.

SP

(Un)Defeated

In the last two years there have only been 2 times when I have been so defeated that I have wanted to throw my hands up in the air and say "I quit". Unfortunately, this is one of those times. It's not that any one particular horrible thing happened today. It's just been building up with the usual paperwork problems and financial stress. Also, today we were turned down for the second time for an adoption grant. I don't understand how in our current financial situation and the urgency of our need we could be turned down. If we don't qualify for these grants, who does? I have let so many sinful feelings overtake me to the point where I feel I can't go on. I'm tired of asking people for "adoption favors" or explaining to various signing officials the absurdity of some of the required Russian documents. I feel like yelling at them "Just sign it!" I don't want to do anymore fundraising or worry day after day how we will raise enough money to bring Mikhail home. I am so sick of our hard earned money being thrown into the adoption black hole. I find myself thinking how easy our life would be right now if we hadn't made the decision to adopt. How the weight of the world would be lifted off of my shoulders if we just quit. On top of being exhausted with all of these things, I feel so guilty to so many for feeling this way. First of all to God who has blessed us in so many different ways in this process beyond what we could have ever imagined. What more do I want, right? Secondly, to all of the friends and family who have supported us with prayer and given their encouragement and money. And lastly, to a little boy on the other side of the world who wants nothing more than to be loved by his mama and papa. As I was painting his crib today I began to cry. My thoughts and feeling overwhelmed me. How could I abandon this child now? He clung to me so tightly in the orphanage that I couldn't peel his little fingers away. I remembered the way his face looked at Jeremy as he fed him his animal crackers. He needs us and we need him. I love this little boy enough already that I realize I would do anything for him. There's no way I can quit now. How could I abandon all of the efforts from friends and family to bring him home. I have a responsibility to you. And most importantly how could I abandon God and His perfect plan for our family after all he has done. He has brought me so far in my faith that I can't imagine ever going back. He has shown himself to me in the most amazing ways. He has taught me things that I would have never known if we hadn't started this adoption process. I'm sorry that I have been paralyzed by fear and doubt. I know this is of Satan and not of God. I have been blinded by my own selfishness and self pity. I have lost sight in why we started this process in the first place. I forgot that this was not supposed to be about me or my feelings. This was not even supposed to be about our family, and maybe not even about Mikhail. This process is about glorifying God. It doesn't matter how hard it gets for me, or how many times I want to quit. I will pick myself up and let God finish what he has started. I wanted God to use me and our story in whatever way he wanted to for his glory. At the beginning of this process I promised I would go as far as God leads me. He's still leading.

SP

Petition to the Court

Just a quick update to let everyone know that we have finally received the Petition to the Court document! This is the final document needed before we can get our court date. Please pray that we can get this signed, sealed and delivered soon.

"Pukey"

I was reading a fellow adoptee's family blog this morning. She described her day as "pukey"! I can relate with her today. While she was talking in the literal sense (I guess I should be thankful for my day), I have had a "pukey" day in the figurative sense. I received an e-mail from America World responding to my many inquiries on the Petition to the Court document that we are still needing. She basically said that they will begin working on it in a couple of weeks. Ugh, more waiting. She did say, though, that things in Krasnoyarsk are moving along smoothly. She still expects us to receive a court date within the 4 month time frame from when we first traveled (around April 17th). The problem is that I had been holding some documents still needed for the Ministry of Education and the court until we got the petition because it is very difficult and expensive for us to have our documents apostilled here in the great (great meaning expensive) State of California ($20 per signature and an 8 hour drive each way). Well this backfired, of course, as most things in adoption processes do. We can't wait any longer so now we are in a bind to try to get these apostilled and sent off to Russia before they expire. If any of these all important documents expire it puts our referral and adoption process in jeopardy. Please pray that we will find a way to get them to Sacramento and back quickly. We don't need anything else to delay our process or cause any more problems. We have also decided to redo the children's medical forms and our labs again. This is the 5th time that we've had to have these blood tests taken. I'm pretty sure that I haven't contracted HIV, Hep C or developed Tuberculosis in the last 2 months, but you can never be too sure right? So, it's another week in the doctor's office for us. On top of everything else, our home study agency is having a difficult time getting their last document requirement done. Once again, a document that other families have had no trouble getting is impossible for us to get. On the bright side today, we finally made it to the last $10,000 needed to finish our adoption. This is amazing considering it is only by the grace and provision of God that we have raised the other $40,000. Yet with the possibilities of us getting our court date next month, it doesn't give us much time to raise the rest. Besides 1 Grant application that is still pending, we honestly have run out of financial options. I know that God has provided us with everything that we have needed so far in this process. I can only pray that he will continue to provide this last amount needed to bring Mikhail home. Today I am just exhausted from paperwork, fundraising, blood tests, notaries and apostilles. As I write this though, I am reminded of a verse that has helped me to keep going through the past 2 years. Matthew 25:40 "The king will reply, I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." So while my day may seem "pukey" in the earthly sense, I am glorifying my king in the heavenly sense. And that to me is worth all of my exhaustion, pain, and resources. Bring on the puke!

SP

P.S. Sorry, Lyn, about your day, but thanks for the inspiration.