No Time to Rest Now

We are back at home, trying to get back into the swing of life as usual (rather unsuccessfully I might add). It is immensely more difficult to have Mikhail over there and us over here than I ever imagined it would be. I keep his picture around me at all times, and even though I am filled with sadness at times that he is not here, it keeps me motivated to continue pushing forward to finish the job. We have a bunch of paperwork that needs to be finished (some of which makes very little sense), and we are still working hard to raise more funds to help finish the process (filling out grant applications, petitioning the government). The selfish, human part of me wants to take a break and relax. But there's no time to rest now. I won't rest well until Mikhail is resting next to me, safe in his new home. In the meantime, God is continuing to provide in unexpected ways just as He has always done during this process. Over the past three weeks, I have become increasingly aware of my desire to play life safe and not take chances. Afraid to jump and fly for fear of falling. This process has forced me to jump. And I have come to realize that it is better to jump and fall then to never jump at all. During this flight I have felt the hand of God in a way that I have never experienced before in my life. And it never would have happened if I hadn't taken that first step. And I am confident that even though I feel like the ground is coming up fast, He won't let me fall. Because this is not about me at all. This is about Him and about a little boy named Mikhail. A boy without an ounce of selfishness in his body. A boy who sees the world through innocent eyes. A boy helpless to his own situation. Our son.

"He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap." Ecclesiastes 11:4

JP