During this adoption process, we did lot of reading and a lot of research to try to prepare for the challenges that would face us as we brought Elijah home. We always felt pretty confident with how we raised our first three boys, but we knew that it was going to be a little different with Elijah (developing attachments, forming bonds, learning rules and the structure of our home). But there are a few things that we came across in our reading that we had fully prepared ourselves for, but have turned out not to be true.
One of these things that we were told was that since Elijah was adopted, our love for him would be different than our love for our three biological boys. Not that we wouldn't love him. Just that it would feel different because we did not conceive and give birth to him. And I fully prepared myself accordingly. However, from the moment I met him I felt like he was my own. Like he had been my own his whole life. Like we had given birth to him. I chalked that up initially to the "honeymoon phase" common to adopting families. However, as I sit here over a month and dozens of fits later, the honeymoon is over and that feeling hasn't changed. I love my son with every ounce of my being. I love him no differently than I love my other three boys. When I hold him it feels the same. When I kiss him it feels the exact same as when I kiss my other three boys. I would step in front of a bus for him if it came to that, without a moment's hesitation. And not because it is what I know I should do. But because I love my son. To all those out there wondering if it feels different, it doesn't.
Elijah continues to adjust well. He is picking up English very quickly, and we are able to communicate with him for pretty much everything. He continues to grow more attached to us, as well as his brothers. He still gets nervous in large groups of people and reverts to his "Cedric the Entertainer" routine, doing anything for some attention. But at home, he is just a happy, content, relaxed little boy.
This weekend he hit his first wiffle ball by himself! Not long until he's turning double plays...
JP
1 comment:
I'm kind of surprised that a book actually said you wouldn't love an adopted child as your own. But I probably read similar things as well.
So glad that your love for him is the same as all your children.
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