Puzzle Maker

I wish we had more to update everyone on, but sadly we are still waiting to finish up our paperwork. Being a self-employed home-owner in the state of California means nothing goes smoothly. Even though April 15th seems a ways in the future, we have to have all of our income taxes for 2007 completed and notarized and apostilled as proof of income. Unfortunately, the business taxes are not going as smoothly as hoped, so we are still waiting to finish those so I can put the finishing touches on the personal's and get it all done. We thought we would have everything notarized, apostilled, and back in our hands by this Friday, but it looks like we'll be lucky to get it all sent off to be apostilled in Sacramento by Friday, making next Tuesday or Wednesday the soonest we can get it completed and sent east. Another week goes by.....

It is hard to wait even a single extra day to bring Mikhail home. We know that so much is out of our control (many times that's a good thing), but for so long in my life it has been in my nature to want to control things. Yet since we have returned from Russia, God is working in me in a huge way to get me to turn it all over to Him. Not just this adoption, but all of it.

And lately He has allowed circumstances to come into my life that are testing this to the breaking point, both personally and in this adoption. It is a daily, sometimes hourly, often times minute-to-minute struggle to see beyond my hazy, short-sighted vision to the bigger picture that God has in mind. And while it might make little to no sense to me now, I have to look back on our adoption process thus far (from 5 years ago when Sara said "I think we should adopt" and I pretended to listen and then proceeded to purposely forget we ever had the conversation, to 2 years ago when we submitted our application with not an extra penny to our name, to 5 weeks ago when we visited Misha and left a piece of our heart in Russia, to today and this rambling post). And when I do, I realize that it all fits together like a perfect puzzle. Granted though, a puzzle that I have no reference picture for to help me, and one where I only get a few pieces at a time to work with. But my puzzle has a designer. And while working on the puzzle at its easiest times seems arduous and at its most difficult times seems downright impossible, I catch glimpses of its beauty as it continues to take shape. If I step back from it and see what I've done so far, I realize that I have made progress. And I see form emerging from where first I only saw chaos. While I thought that I was randomly placing pieces here and there, the designer was carefully guiding my hand. And the times when it seemed to make the least sense were sometimes the most pivotal pieces of all.

And though there is still so much of the picture that I have yet to see and every fiber in my fleshly being says to quit, the voice of the designer continues to whisper in my ear to keep working. He tells me it's going to be a masterpiece. A treasure such as the one a man finds in a field, and who then goes and sells everything he owns to buy that field. And as long as I listen to the designer's guidance and follow his voice, one day the puzzle will be completed and we will stand together, both equally happy with the finished product.

JP

"...but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God..."

Original Blog Now Posted

Our original blog has now been transferred to this blog (finally, that only took 3 months!). If you are interested, click on the 2006 tab on "Blog Archive" to the right. It is a little more dry and informative, without many of the subtle, witty nuances of what you read today. But hey, what do you want, it was our first try! Mostly we wanted to have the whole process archived for Misha to read when he gets older. So if you have a few extra minutes, sit back, kick your feet up, enjoy some tunes, and soak in the journey.

JP

Making Progress...

We are happy to announce that we were finally able to notarize a handful of documents yesterday, including the Home Assessment Affidavit that had troubled us for so long. If everything continues as it should, we should have all of our documents except for the Court Petition notarized and ready to be apostilled by Monday. We can't believe it! That's a headache we're ready to be done with! It's been great to hear about so many families from the AWAA Russia chat group getting court dates. It's nice to know that things are going along without any major delays. We'll settle for watching our DVD's a couple times a week to keep us going to the end....

JP

Calmer of The Storm

The video is kind of cheesy, but I love the song. It speaks to anyone who might be going through a trial of any kind (i.e. completing an overseas adoption). Listen to the words. I hope they speak to you as they have for me.

JP

Please scroll down to the bottom and stop the music player before watching the video.

Superman has a cape; Misha has a hip-hammock

When choosing your child-carrying method, I recommend Playtex's "Hip Hammock". Great to keep your hands free while carrying around your child's favorite stuffed toys......or a newly adopted child. The weight wasn't quite right, but the size was perfect. It is amazing during this process how God has put me in contact with all the right information to help my growth and faith during this tough time. Be it through sermons I hear, scriptures I read, books I am reading, or even songs that I hear. It's not all random. It's is very obvious when looking back over the two years of this process so far that God has placed things in my life at just the right time when either I am finally able to understand them or I am at a point when I am willing to accept them. Any sooner, and I would have missed their significance completely. Hence, one reason for the addition of the music to our blog. We tried to include just a few songs that have spoken to us in one way or another during this process, some in blatant ways and some in very subtle ways. I hope that you take a listen to some of them, and try to find some encouragement in the words as we have. Also, two books that I have read over the past 6 months that have helped me grow in tremendous ways have been A New Kind of Christian by Brian McClaren and Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard. They have helped to deepen my understanding about who we are as people created by God, and how that fact should shape every aspect of how we live our lives and how we interact with the world around us. They have helped me understand what it means to truly "love your neighbor", and how if I let that command permeate every aspect of my life, tough decisions become clear and difficult roads are manageable. And it has really brought into focus for me the importance of what I am doing in this adoption. These books were given to me by a friend of mine (thanks Cory) who owns an audio book company (http://www.christianaudio.com/), and I highly recommend you check them out if you are a book-on-CD type of person like me. They have a great catalog! I am left with a verse that I came in contact with last night. I hope it encourages you as it did me.

"And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary." - Galatians 6:9

That speaks for itself....

JP

A Few Steps Forward (Flying high), A Few Steps Backward (Where's the vomit bag?)

Many times during this adoption process, I have wished I had another one of these handy. (I e-mailed this picture to the boys while we were in Russia, and as you would expect from boys, they loved it!)

Lately I've been trying to convince myself that there is no such thing as good news or bad news, just news. It's how I respond to it that matters. It's kind of how you have to look at things during an adoption. You get so used to setbacks that you just start to consider them part of the way things go. It's almost like someone out there doesn't want these kids to have homes. Strange, huh? Well, let's start on a high note. First off, we have some amazing news! We have moved one huge step closer to reaching our monetary goal to finish the adoption. We are now $10,000 closer due to another huge donation! It has blown our minds how much support we have received during this process. We are so close now! It still amazes us how many people God has used during this process to make this a reality. But we are not quite there yet, and we still need your prayer and support. As you would expect during an adoption, the fees have gone up yet again, this time by another $2000. Also, the County of San Diego's Assessor's office has refused to sign one of few remaining documents we need to get a court date. Sighting that the document is outside of their scope of what they can attest to, we are at a bit of an impass. We are pursuing every option available and ask that you keep us in your prayers that the County will see the importance of this document and make an exception for us in this case. So far, every other county in California that has received this document to sign for other families has had no problem doing so. But we're confident we'll find a solution to our affidavit problem, and that regardless of the fee increase, God will provide the remaining amount to complete this adoption and bring Mikhail home. To quote the great Tom Petty "The waiting is the hardest part".

New Document Feature

We have added a new document feature on to our blog so that you can follow along with our progress. The documents listed on the side panel will all need to be completed, notarized and apostilled before a court date can be set up for us in Russia. We have finished all of the "easy" documents and are now working on the "more difficult to achieve" documents. We will be finishing up on all of the medicals next week. Hopefully this time will be the last time we will need to be poked and prodded! (As if 3 other times wasn't enough!) Hopefully everything will be completed and sent off to Russia by the end of January. If this happens we could be going back to pick up Mikhail in March or April! Please pray with us that these documents will be completed in a smooth and timely matter.

And now for something completely different...

I know that many of my entries are more serious, so I wanted to share something a little more light-hearted. We did have some time to goof around while we were in Krasnoyarsk. There were beautiful ice sculptures that they were creating to celebrate the coming New Year. They were amazing! Here I am sliding down an ice slide in the below freezing temps of Siberia. To use my son Benjamin's new favorite phrase, I literally "froze my butt off!"

JP

Happy Birthday to Mikhail!

Today was Mikhail's 2nd Birthday! On a day that should be filled with joy, I can't help but feel a huge pang of sorrow. I have struggled all day with my feelings and trying to sort through them. Happiness that he was born, and heart-wrenching pain that he's not here. On what amounted to a full day of news regarding our paperwork (none of it good unfortunately), I felt drained of all my emotional reserves and zapped of all my motivation. How could a boy that I have spent all of 4 hours with on the other side of the world hold that much power over me? Sometimes I ask myself "What have I gotten myself into?". I was perfectly content in my own little world, January 7th no different than any other day. But then I had to open my big mouth and utter those words, "God, this adoption is yours. I want you to take control of it and make it what you want it to be." And so here I sit, experiencing feelings deeper than I ever could have imagined. Learning all over again, like a child for the first time what it truly means to love. And now catching just the tiniest glimpse of what was meant when John said "For God so loved the world....."

Keep praying for those still without homes.

JP