Puzzle Maker

I wish we had more to update everyone on, but sadly we are still waiting to finish up our paperwork. Being a self-employed home-owner in the state of California means nothing goes smoothly. Even though April 15th seems a ways in the future, we have to have all of our income taxes for 2007 completed and notarized and apostilled as proof of income. Unfortunately, the business taxes are not going as smoothly as hoped, so we are still waiting to finish those so I can put the finishing touches on the personal's and get it all done. We thought we would have everything notarized, apostilled, and back in our hands by this Friday, but it looks like we'll be lucky to get it all sent off to be apostilled in Sacramento by Friday, making next Tuesday or Wednesday the soonest we can get it completed and sent east. Another week goes by.....

It is hard to wait even a single extra day to bring Mikhail home. We know that so much is out of our control (many times that's a good thing), but for so long in my life it has been in my nature to want to control things. Yet since we have returned from Russia, God is working in me in a huge way to get me to turn it all over to Him. Not just this adoption, but all of it.

And lately He has allowed circumstances to come into my life that are testing this to the breaking point, both personally and in this adoption. It is a daily, sometimes hourly, often times minute-to-minute struggle to see beyond my hazy, short-sighted vision to the bigger picture that God has in mind. And while it might make little to no sense to me now, I have to look back on our adoption process thus far (from 5 years ago when Sara said "I think we should adopt" and I pretended to listen and then proceeded to purposely forget we ever had the conversation, to 2 years ago when we submitted our application with not an extra penny to our name, to 5 weeks ago when we visited Misha and left a piece of our heart in Russia, to today and this rambling post). And when I do, I realize that it all fits together like a perfect puzzle. Granted though, a puzzle that I have no reference picture for to help me, and one where I only get a few pieces at a time to work with. But my puzzle has a designer. And while working on the puzzle at its easiest times seems arduous and at its most difficult times seems downright impossible, I catch glimpses of its beauty as it continues to take shape. If I step back from it and see what I've done so far, I realize that I have made progress. And I see form emerging from where first I only saw chaos. While I thought that I was randomly placing pieces here and there, the designer was carefully guiding my hand. And the times when it seemed to make the least sense were sometimes the most pivotal pieces of all.

And though there is still so much of the picture that I have yet to see and every fiber in my fleshly being says to quit, the voice of the designer continues to whisper in my ear to keep working. He tells me it's going to be a masterpiece. A treasure such as the one a man finds in a field, and who then goes and sells everything he owns to buy that field. And as long as I listen to the designer's guidance and follow his voice, one day the puzzle will be completed and we will stand together, both equally happy with the finished product.

JP

"...but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God..."