Breakthroughs and Learning

Only 1 day behind now. Also, here's a picture of us in front of the courthouse (after the decision...that's why we're smiling)

Today was day 4 with Misha, and it was a day of breakthroughs and learning. By this time, our visits with Misha are running the risk of becoming “more of the same”. We are limited to the one room with its toys and its small area. No going outside. No venturing anywhere new. We are bringing the same toys to increase his familiarity with them and to increase his comfort level. Mostly, we are just focusing on developing attachments and bonds with him. But in some ways it is difficult, because this is still “his turf”. In his mind, there is still some ownership to this place as “his” home. It makes it difficult to begin to establish him in his new life with us.

But the closed environment has some benefits. We visited Misha in the morning this time, and when we arrived the room was being used for a puppet show for the kids. Three of the orphanage workers were putting on a show for the children, complete with music and singing. We were confined to one half of the room while various groups of children came in to watch the show. We did our best to play with Misha, but it was soon very clear that the amount of stimulation from the puppet show going on in the room, mixed with the fact that we gave him access to all of his toys in the suitcase was becoming too much for him. He became very quick in his movements, had trouble focusing on one thing, and was very wiggly in our arms.

Both Sara and I recognized what was happening, so Sara picked him up and took him to a corner of the room to hold him. As the children filed out and things calmed down, Sara fed him a snack and held him in her arms. She immediately noticed a change come over him. He calmed down, and began to relax. According to Sara, it was the first time that she felt that he truly relaxed in her arms. He willingly laid his head against hers, and she said that if she had kept it going, he probably would have fallen asleep. That is such a positive step, both in us learning first hand about how he responds to varying levels of stimulation and knowing that we can bring him down when it gets too high.

We have read a number of books regarding attachment in children from orphanages, and it was amazing to see how “by-the-book” his behaviors have been thus far. It makes us feel somewhat prepared for the work that this transition is going to be. And it truly helps us understand what is really going on inside of Mikhail so that we can approach it in the right manner. As hard as this waiting period is, it is not without its benefits.

We are scheduled to pick up Mikhail on Friday. At that point, we will be able to post pictures of him on the blog, as the adoption will be officially complete. Please keep checking up until then.

JP