Elijah's First Christmas, and a Fighting Chance

Elijah's first American Christmas has come and gone. We tried not to make it too overwhelming for him. He did extremely well, all things considered. We visited Santa Claus at the San Diego Wild Animal Park. He loved all the lights and looking at the animals, but didn't care too much for Santa. Which is what we figured. But he did pose for a picture with Daddy in front of some of the lights (see right). The next night was Christmas Eve, and we opened presents, just the six of us. He was very meticulous in the opening of his gifts (reminded me of his great-grandma). I think he liked cleaning up all the wrapping paper and putting in the trash bag more than anything (the boy's a clean-freak- leftovers from his old home). Christmas day was a bit more hectic for him with more people, but it ended up being a special time celebrating two first Christmas's (Elijah's and his baby cousin Savannah's).

Now a New Year approaches, and it greets me doing a lot of soul-searching. I know this sounds crazy, but I long to go back to Russia. I know that right now it is not a possibility, but I miss it, if that possibly makes sense. I know that it's not the only place to find God, but it's where He wanted me to find Him. And while since I've been back I have been studying what God is doing in other parts of the world and places where He is needed most (Africa, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam), I find myself still drawn to Russia. I still remember my conversation with a group of missionaries in Moscow, and being saddened to hear how the years of Communism have left a nation almost completely devoid of personal interaction with the God of this universe. And I am heartbroken. And I think about all the little ones we saw in Baby House #5, ones that we knew would probably never spend a Christmas with a loving family. And I think about the hopelessness that many of them will feel when they become adults and have to leave the only homes they have ever known, never to return and alone. And I think, if only they knew there was a God out there who loved them. That even though they may not have a "family" in the normal context, there was a man who walked this earth 2000 years ago, bringing hope to orphans just like themselves, healing the broken just like themselves, and laying down his life so that they might live. I feel like if someone at least told them this, they might stand a fighting chance...

JP

On to the next peak...

I could list all the excuses for over a month between blog entries, but there's no point. I'm sure it's the same story for everyone.

This weekend marked the one-year anniversary of meeting Elijah for the first time. We spent some time watching video of our first trip, and just thinking about how far we have come and how far Elijah has come in that time. Wow, what changes. This time of the year will forever bring back memories of Russia. The four amazingly hectic, stressful, enlightening, and life-changing days we spent with the Franks, where when we parted we felt we had known them for a lifetime and knew that we would remain friends for at least that long. And when the Christmas songs start to play and a crispness fills the air, I am reminded of my firsthand meeting with God in a Siberian orphanage. I can honestly tell you that God is more real to me today than He ever has been before or I ever dreamed He could be. And it's all thanks to a little boy who showed me that faith is not best expressed with words, but with actions. For the first time I heard the voice of God, clear and unmistakeable, speak to me and I followed. I followed half-way across the world, and when I met Elijah I heard God say "Here I am". It was like being blind for 30 years and finally being able to see.

And it's crazy. Our jouney has been like climbing a mountain. But it's not as if when we brought Elijah home, God said "Nice job. You made it to the top. Have a seat, sit back and enjoy the view." Instead, He has said "Nice job. You've made it to the top. Take a look over there. See that peak off in the distance. Yes, the one higher than the one we are standing on. The one with the jagged rocks and the sheer edges. That looks like fun. What do you say?" And like an adrenaline-laced mountain climber, I say "Why not? Bring it on!"

One year ago I truly tasted God and found that He was good. Yet I have been left with a thirst for more. And as our life continues to take twists and turns, hills and valleys, I am confident that God has so much more in store for me and my family. There is a huge world out there in need. In physical need (poverty, starvation, slavery) as well as in spiritual need (they need to know Jesus). And He has made it clear to me and my family that there is still work to be done. We've only scratched the surface. This one little boy named Mikhail (Elijah) was only the starting point for us. May He be glorified in every "next peak" that we scale. And I know we'll reach the top because we have the only Guide who knows the way.

Merry Christmas to all!

J

Happy 1st Halloween

Hey, better than last time. Only 2 weeks or so. Well, this was Elijah's first Halloween, and I am happy to say that he exceeded all of our expectations and then some. We had a wonderful night cruising the neighborhood by our house and playing at the carnival hosted by our church. Elijah enjoyed every minute of it, and we have some great memories.

It has been slow progress with Elijah, but progress nevertheless. We seek God's strength and wisdom every day, and He always provides. Our broken little boy is mending slowly, but as I see it, he is ours forever. So if it takes forever, that's how long we'll keep working at it...

Here are some pictures to tide you over:

The family at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, just 5 minutes from our house.































Day Trip to Big Bear in the Mountains east of Los Angeles



Had to bribe Benjamin into being the woman. Elijah didn't know any better.

That was the face before he realized what was inside the pumpkin...



























Happy Halloween

No, Isaac's not Richard Simmons, in case you were wondering. Couldn't find the red, white, and blue old-school P.E. shorts...

JP

My Little Russian Nesting Doll

Hello all from the Land of Confusion (for those Genesis fans out there, the band not the book of the Bible). Has it really been this long since I last posted? Take that as an indication of what life has been like for the past month.

God bless his little broken heart, Elijah is certainly keeping us on our toes here. He is a wonderful little boy who just can't bring himself to come home yet. I use a bit of Russian imagery to describe our little barrel of wonders. He is like a Russian nesting doll. Take one layer apart, and there is another layer below. And each new layer is a new little "surprise". Most nesting dolls range from 5 to 12 layers deep. We've blasted through those, and as we continue to peal we don't see the end in sight.

We have exhausted all the "parenting techniques" that we used with our three older boys, and we are blazing new trails as we speak. To those who question the wisdom of God in how he planned his creation to work, be it in marriage or in how the family is supposed to be structured, I would put up Elijah as an example of what happens when we stray from doing things the way God had inteded, what happens to an innocent little boy when he makes the best of a situation that was not as God had intended. And while he is making very small and very slow strides, the damage runs deep with him and will take time, patience, prayer, and perseverance to see any significant improvement in his healing.

While I don't believe that orphans were part of God's original plan for his creation, they are the result of living in a fallen world, and I praise God everyday for adoption as part of his redemption plan for this fallen world.

Please continue to pray for patience and wisdom for our family and specifically for Elijah that God would continue to use us to break down those walls he's created to protect himself and that His grace will mend the broken pieces of his little broken soul...

JP

(p.s. Still planning on making part two of that video for you. As my father always says, "These things take time...")

Attachment Differences

The past week has yielded a little controversy in our "chat group" community regarding the role of parents (moms in particular) and newly adopted institutionalized children. Adopted children need special attacment work and mom needs to be home to properly develop that versus some moms have to go back to work and a family with a working mom is still better than no family at all.

Say what you want about controversy, at least it forces one to examine their situation and dialouge with themselves about their own situation. I know that it has promoted dialougue in our family. And while I know some feelings were hurt, I think that sometimes a little controversy can be helpful because it forces you to take a stance (do I really believe what I am doing is right?). That is what we have done this past week as I have struggled with Elijah.

This dialouge coincided with my most difficult week since coming home with Elijah. And I found the parallels very profound. Since school started for the boys (we school our other 3 boys at home), our home situation has changed dramatically. My day starts at 4am, and between work, school (I'm in charge of math, writing, and some reading), coaching and carpooling, my free time to spend with Elijah has decreased dramatically.

As a result, I have noticed a significant change in our relationship (and not for the better). We have slid back to behaviors similar to when we were in Russia (not wanting me to hold him, trying to sabotage personal time, not wanting to be comforted by me). And this has been a very hard thing for me to take. I see his relationship with Sara, who is home with him all the time, and it is hard for me not to be envious. I know that she is mom, and things are always a little different with mom. But I know that in our situation, his attitude towards me is directly related to the proportion of time that I spend with him compared to Sara. His attachment with me is not nearly as good as it is with Sara because I am not with him as much. Granted, I try when I am home to take him for special time (he'll go to the store with me by himself or we'll play baseball together), but most of the time I see that it's not enough.

The debate about whether moms with newly adopted kids should stay at home or go to work is one without a clear answer. I believe that it is a decision best put before God in prayer and discussed thoroughly within each individual family. I certainly know the economic pressures going on today (I have had to take a second job on the weekends just to scrape by), but I also know first hand the difficulties that come with trying to form a bond with an adopted child when you are not present. I wouldn't wish that difficulty on anyone, and I can empathize with those who are struggling. In the meantime, I take advantage of every opportunity that I can and pray for our little guy constantly that our bond will grow stronger with time...



JP

The boys with their gifts grandma and grandpa brought back for them from Scotland. Elijah's new hairdo looks goooooooood...

By Your Side

Throughout this adoption journey, God has used music in countless ways to communicate messages of his truth to me, often just at the right time when I needed them. I have always put songs on this blog that have carried meaning regarding whatever station I might have been in this journey, or whatever songs might have touched my heart at the time. I never choose at random. Shortly after I wrote my post titled "Be Still" (see post below), Sara found this song that should be playing as you read this. As I listened to the words, I couldn't believe how much it spoke to what I was feeling at that time, and still am feeling. As I said in that previous post, God never ceases to draw parallels for me between His relationship with me and my relationship to Elijah. And I share this because this past week has been a pretty monumental struggle between me and Elijah (I will post about this in more detail later), as I am sure any of you who have adopted, or just have kids can relate to. My thought to leave you is to you is to ask you to scroll to the bottom of the blog, rewind the song to the beginning and meditate on the words (even look at a picture of your child while you listen). If you are struggling with your own adopted child right now, I'm sure these words voice your prayer to them perfectly. If you are feeling alone or unloved, let the words sink in as the Father's voice speaking directly to you right where you are...

(More to come soon...I promise)

JP

Pictures of Elijah's first art project that he did with his brothers while they were doing a school project. He was so proud.

Journey to Elijah Video- Part 1

So I sat down and re-made the video, this time in 2 segments. One before "Gotcha Day" and one for after. Here is part 1. It is almost exactly the same as the original video. To those who didn't get a chance to see it, I hope you enjoy. Part 2 will come soon...

JP

School Begins

Wow, has it been that long since I have posted?

So it has. With the day-to-day grind in full force, everything becomes something of a blur. As a homeschooling family, we stay pretty busy throughout the day. The start of school at the beginning of August has definitely shown itself in Elijah's behavior. Now that our attention is getting spread a bit more evenly, we have seen more of a backslide in his behavior. Nothing terrible, just little things. He is definitely showing his age more, being more vocal when he thinks his ideas are better than ours. We believe that most of this has to do with the change in attention, so we are making sure we are stepping up the one-on-one time to make up for the school time.

His attachment continues to improve with both of us and with his brothers. His six-year-old brother and him don't always see eye-to-eye (too much alike in their stubbornness), but they are playing with him a ton and involving him in their games as much as he will participate.

We have our first meeting with our church staff to discuss our adoption ministry that we are starting at our home church of Emmanuel Faith Community Church in Escondido. We hope to provide resources for couples struggling with infertility or just considering adoption, as well as support for those in the process of and finished with adopting, both here and abroad. We have one couple that has adopted both of their boys on board, and we are hoping that it will grow from there. Sharing God's love one person at a time.

I am still working on getting the video back up, so hang tight...

JP

La la Olympics

Apologies for not updating the blog sooner. Try as we have to not let life pile itself on us, it somehow always manages to creep up and rear its head. That's a separate blog in itself. On to more important things...

Life with Elijah still manages to amaze us on a regular basis. We were heading along very well, attachment developing (including attachment with me since increasing my personal time with him) and adjustment to life in the family coming together. Then he woke up one morning and decided it was too hard. Just like that, he was back to the boy we brought out of the orphanage. You could see it in his face. Unwilling to be cradled, not wanting to communicate, and reinstituting the sport of "La la throwing" (maybe too much Olympic watching...who knows).

Our initial response was frustration mixed with some self-doubt. But through prayer and communication with each other, Sara and I maintained our consistency and resolved to weather the storm. Three days later he was back to the boy of four days prior, and then some. The light was back in his eyes. My attachment with him experienced more growth during his three setback days than any other. Reading books and playing toys with Elijah have been more relaxed than ever, and he is initating more physical contact on his own, without me having to ask for it. The highlight for me was last night. For the first time in all the times I have done holding time before bed, he snuggled himself up to my neck and chest and fell asleep in my arms. Wow! The kind of feeling that could warm you on top of Mt. Everest.

Just because Elijah is home doesn't mean the highs and lows are over. I guess it's God's way of keeping us on His page and not our own.

We are also beginning a medicine regimine for a couple intestinal parasites that he came home with. We pray that he takes the medication and this gets cleared up fast (both mom and Elijah are done with the dysentary)...

JP

Video Not Available

To those who did not get a chance to watch the video on the myspace.com/parkadoption site, I'm sorry to say that it is no longer available. It has been blocked due to copyright restrictions (the music that I included with the video). So I'm happy for those of you that got to see it. If I can come up with any more ideas, I will update later. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

JP

Be Still

All along this adoption process has been as much a spiritual journey for me as it has been a physical journey for Elijah. He has gained a family and I have gained a closer understanding of who God is.

My efforts at enhancing attachment with my new son have been extremely rewarding. In fact, just the other day he ran up to me without any coercing, arms outstretched as I was sitting on the couch, wrapped his little arms around me and gave me a hug and a kiss, then went on his merry little way. It floored me. Little steps.

Nighttime with me is going much better as well, with the snuggle time being much more relaxed and special. But a few nights ago he was not too happy with me putting him to bed instead of mommy, and he was showing his displeasure by complaining, fussing, and fidgeting in my lap in an attempt to get away. During these times I find it helpful to just pray out loud over him and talk softly to him. And during this particular time the words "Be still" came to mind. I found myself just saying this softly over and over to him while he struggled against my arms. And in that moment I looked down on his face and I saw myself. In him I saw all of my anxieties, all my fears, all my inadequacies, all my failures, all my futile attempts to be in control of every aspect of my life, all the times I take things from the hands of God and place them back in my own. I sat with Elijah, knowing full well that he was safe in my arms, that he was loved unconditionally, that he was taken care of and that his needs were going to be met. Yet I couldn't convince him of that fact and he thought he knew better. And I thought to myself, "isn't that just like me?". Me struggling with all my burdens and God sitting over me saying "Be still", promising to love me unconditionally, promising to take care of me, and promising to meet my needs while I complain, fuss, and struggle.

It just reminds me how important it is for me to continue to work on my attachment with my Father...

JP

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

Never Tire

I'm sorry it has been so long since I've posted an update. Elijah continues to thrive here in sunny SoCal (he's even getting a little bit of a tan). His comfort level and that of our family continues to grow each day. As I know is true for most, each day that goes by we forget a little bit more that he was not a physical part of this family at one time. It seems more and more natural all the time.

He's progressing well on most fronts. His attachment with Sara is developing extremely well. He loves the physical contact from her, wanting to be held and hugged. Naptime and bedtime are going smoothly as well. Not surprisingly, things have slipped in his attachment to me though. Spending all that time in Russia with him 24/7, things were going really well for my attachment with him. But now that we are back to life here, it has been back to work for me and away from the family for a good chunk of the day. I am out the door before anyone is up, and even though I am home pretty much every day when he gets up from his afternoon nap and around for the remainder of the day, I have seen very clearly this past week that it hasn't been enough. We have started to institute some mandatory holding time for the two of us because he just doesn't want the physical closeness from me that he wants from Sara. And not that it has to be the exact same, but he still a bit wary when I pick him up or hold him. The first day was a pretty good struggle, but it only lasted about 10 minutes and he settled down. Next day was a little bit better than that.

None of this comes as a surprise to us. It is just amazing to me how subtle it all is, and how far below the surface so many things are with Elijah. I am finding that it is easy to get comfortable and to let up a little. But he is constantly reminding us that there is still so much work to be done. And even though on the outside he appears to be very happy and content, fostering the kind of bonds and attachments that we want for him in our family is going to take a lot of hard work and a lot of time. I am reminded of this verse...

"And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right". (2 Thessalonians 3:13)

JP

Changing Faces

The most amazing sight to see during the past 7 weeks has been the utterly amazing transformation in the physical appearence of this little boy. Having posted the most recent pictures of Elijah, I thought it would be an experience to post a few of the pictures from our first trip for everyone to compare the boy we first met in the orphanage with the boy we know now and see everyday. There is no mistaking the difference. No more blank stare. No more tension locked up in his face and his whole body. Those eyes that once looked so scared I now get lost in for minutes at a time. To those who wonder what the importance of "setting the lonely in families" is, look at the face of this little boy and know that he is finally where he was always meant to be, and the look that you see has been a long time coming but is here to stay...

JP

Scroll down at all the pictures below that I've posted since we have been home to see the difference (my favorite of Elijah is still the one with his brothers in Home Depot aprons. It sits on my desk at work and I find myself staring at it for minutes at a time...doesn't help me get any work done for sure).

The Video is Finally Here!!!!

After over 6 weeks of trying, I finally have been able to make the video I made of Elijah while in Russia available for viewing. Please click on the following link:

www.myspace.com/parkadoption

Click on "Videos" on the left-hand side of the screen under where a picture of me would normally be. Make sure to turn on the audio, as there is music that goes with it. I hope you enjoy (and that it's not a let down after all the build-up). Please feel free to share it with any friends and family. Hopefully it can inspire a few people as well...

JP

Window Faces and Treacherous Eyelashes

It's been over 6 weeks since we picked up our son, and we are falling in love with him more everyday. Yesterday I was talking to Sara, and we both agreed that there have been times when we have forgotten that we ever brought him home from an orphanage. That he was not a physical part of our family for the first 2 1/2 years of his life. It all seems so natural now. I know that this will only continue as time goes on.

Elijah finally had his first doctor's appointment last Thursday. Other than a little heart murmur that he will grow out of, by all outward appearences he is in perfect health. His measurements make him Joe Average and his physical development appears to be normal for his age. We are keeping an eye, or ear rather, on his speech. We know that learning a new language throws a wrench in things, but we are not quite sure his talking is quite up to par for his age. We are probably going to have a consultation with a speech therapist in the next few months. We are waiting for all of his blood tests to come back, but we expect everything to come up normal there as well (He was a trooper through the shots and blood draw. That didn't stop the tech at Children's hospital doing the blood draw from asking mom if she was going to cry. He also assured mom that the only thing Elijah had to worry about was tripping over his eyelashes when he walked out of there. If you haven't seen those things in person, the pictures don't do them justice).

Honestly, it is the little things that you notice that truly remind you that God knew what He was doing when He picked Elijah for our family. The older three boys love to wave at me out the window when I leave for work (sometimes they'll get up as early as 4am to see me off, and then head back to bed). We make faces at each other until I drive off. We've been doing it for years. Not sure how it started. It's just one of those family things that happens. To my joy, the last time the boys saw me off Elijah joined them at the window. He didn't know the routine, so he just stood and smiled at me while I made faces at him (he'll figure it out soon). But I can't tell you what it did to my heart and what it meant to see my 4 boys together doing what they do best, being my goofy boys. This boy's gonna do alright.

We are in the birthing stages of starting an Adoption Support ministry at our church. We want to be resource for others who have adopted, are adopting, or are even contemplating adoption. We feel that God's story lived out through our adoption of Elijah needs to be shared. If it can help bring one more homeless child to a forever family, it will all be worth it. We are always available to anyone if they have questions. Feel free to direct people to our blog if they are interested.

Also, keep praying for foreign adoptions, as they were dealt another blow just recently. Another Russian adopted child died tragically and accidentally just recently, and two more organizations have lost their accredidation as a result. With the situation in China looking more bleak by the day, we can't help but feel like there is a battle going on. The way I look at it, adoption must be something very important if Satan is doing this much to try to stop it. All the more reason we should stay dilligent and be a voice for the voiceless...

JP

Don't Believe Everything Your Read

During this adoption process, we did lot of reading and a lot of research to try to prepare for the challenges that would face us as we brought Elijah home. We always felt pretty confident with how we raised our first three boys, but we knew that it was going to be a little different with Elijah (developing attachments, forming bonds, learning rules and the structure of our home). But there are a few things that we came across in our reading that we had fully prepared ourselves for, but have turned out not to be true.

One of these things that we were told was that since Elijah was adopted, our love for him would be different than our love for our three biological boys. Not that we wouldn't love him. Just that it would feel different because we did not conceive and give birth to him. And I fully prepared myself accordingly. However, from the moment I met him I felt like he was my own. Like he had been my own his whole life. Like we had given birth to him. I chalked that up initially to the "honeymoon phase" common to adopting families. However, as I sit here over a month and dozens of fits later, the honeymoon is over and that feeling hasn't changed. I love my son with every ounce of my being. I love him no differently than I love my other three boys. When I hold him it feels the same. When I kiss him it feels the exact same as when I kiss my other three boys. I would step in front of a bus for him if it came to that, without a moment's hesitation. And not because it is what I know I should do. But because I love my son. To all those out there wondering if it feels different, it doesn't.

Elijah continues to adjust well. He is picking up English very quickly, and we are able to communicate with him for pretty much everything. He continues to grow more attached to us, as well as his brothers. He still gets nervous in large groups of people and reverts to his "Cedric the Entertainer" routine, doing anything for some attention. But at home, he is just a happy, content, relaxed little boy.

This weekend he hit his first wiffle ball by himself! Not long until he's turning double plays...

JP

Updates (La la and Misha Bear)

What to say? We are nearly 3 weeks post Russia, and it has been exactly one month since we took Elijah out of the orphanage for good. Here are a few of the recent updates:

English is coming along great! He's learning new words everyday, and Sara estimates that he understands more English now than Russian (that doesn't keep him from saying his favorite word, "niet!").

Attachment continues to improve as well. He loves snuggling with mom. When Sara is rocking him before bed, they take turns touching each other's face. He even grabs her hand to hold it while they rock. Elijah is also comfortable enough with papa now to let him tickle him like he does the other boys (I knew he couldn't resist for long!).

His fits have become shorter and less involved now. Now, instead of chucking "la la" (his favorite toy music maker) across the room when he is mad, he stops his fit, hands his "la la" to mama, and then continues his fit (small blessings right?).

He is getting used to the boys as well. They are able to play together a lot more than before. He is especially taken by Isaac, our oldest son (Sara is convinced that it's confusion about the long hair...he thinks Isaac is mama). He spends his day calling Isaac's name and pointing things out. Isaac has been very patient. I think he really likes the attention. Isaac even changed his first poopy diaper (it was actually a consequence he was serving for fighting with his brother in the van, but I think he enjoyed it....ok, maybe that's taking it a little too far).

Papa helped him with his first swings of the baseball bat (you had to know that one was coming).

He got his first "American" haircut. Number 6 on the clippers worked perfectly. Not too short, not too long (mullets were aplenty in Russia...tempting, but no).

Curious George has been shelved in favor of "Misha Bear", the teddy bear his grandma made for him. He even calls it "Misha Bear" (poor George, after all he has been through. Oh well, Curious George will always be the first love).

He is even eating well. Most foods go down easily with little to no trouble (even some spicy chicken strips we had left over in the fridge).

Important things yet to be done:

Give him his first "IN-N-OUT Burger" (not sure his taste buds are ready to handle such bliss just yet).

Take him to his first Dodger Game (have to save that one for the right time. It has to be special. Plus, it would be nice if they were winning too).

I hope that satisfies some of the inquiring minds. More to come soon...

JP

That Smile...

Tomorrow will be two weeks since we have been home. Things are progressing well with Elijah. He is continuing to get used to life in the Park household. Every day brings new experiences for both us and him, and we get continued glimpses into the depth of who he is. He is a smart little boy (and a little sly) with a fun-loving and sweet temprament. We were always told that most of these children know how to work the system, and Elijah is no exception. The other day my parents were visiting for the weekend. Elijah had just finished going into the bathroom when mommy told him not to, at which time he proceeded to air-mail the toys he was holding into the other room. He was sitting on mommy's lap taking a time-out (complete with fussing and much shifting) when my father came in from outside. I was sitting across the room, and proceeded to watch this distraught child, crushed by the weight of his terrible consequence (notice sarcasm here) look up at my father, and flash the most flirtatous smile I have ever seen. I never realized one small smile could say say so much. "Dear man. Please save me from my inhumane captor. I'm completely innocent. Would this face lie to you?" I must say I was impressed. I didn't know whether to be concerned or congratulate the boy on an Oscar-worthy performance.

I tell this story, not to be negative (he is adjusting amazingly well and is the sweetest little boy), but because it amazes me how comlex this little boy can be. (Side note: today was his first day without a single fit! Yeah!!!) Both Sara and I understand that coming from the orphanage, this is what he has had to do all along to get his needs met. And he does not yet realize that here at home, he's going to get his needs met no matter what. He doesn't have to perform for us. He doesn't have to bribe us. We are here for him, 100%, forever.

Our extended family have truly taken to Elijah. I fell in love with him from the moment I met him, but you never know how others will feel when the time finally comes. I am happy to say that he has stolen the hearts of everyone he has met.

Elijah is truly an amazing, special, and wonderful little boy.

When he smiles, I am filled with indescribeable joy.
When he laughs, I am moved to tears.
When he makes goofy faces at me, he steals my heart.
When he plays, I am filled with peace.
When he runs to me at the door after work, I feel that feeling only a father knows.
When he lies peacefully asleep, I fall in love with him all over again.

JP

My Gain

It has been one week since we have been home, and things have been going great! Elijah is adapting well to his new life here in Escondido. It is most definitely summer here, in the 90's the past couple of days, and I wasn't sure if his baby feet would follow his brothers barefoot into the backyard, but he wasn't about to be left out. He's game for almost anything.

Father's day came just a few days after arriving home, and we drove to a couple of our favorite spots in downtown San Diego to spend the afternoon. First stop was the playground next to the bay, watching boats and walking along the boardwalk. Elijah wasn't quite ready for the swings, but he was game for the slide. We couldn't keep him off, up and down and up and down. At one point I felt his chest as I was lifting him up, and his little heart was just pounding! Never had this much exercise and excitement in his life. What a rush for him, and what a thrill to be a part of all of his firsts!

Second stop found us playing tag and ball in the grass and throwing rocks into the bay. He rode the stroller through people face painting, people making balloon animals, and a classic car show. He came home exhausted and a little sunburned (let's not tell the social worker that one).

These past four days we have just focused on getting into a routine at home. Misha getting comfortable with his surroundings and used to the rhythm of life. And he is doing great! He is picking up English pretty quickly (he definitely knows what "no, don't touch that" means), and he is learning his brothers' names. They take turns pushing each other on the little Winnie-the-Pooh train grandma and grandpa bought for him (Isaac wiped him out around a corner today) and squirting each other with the hose.

He is truly a little goofball...a perfect match for this family. He loves to make you laugh and smile, and his laugh is contagious. When he rears his head back, closes his eyes, and lets out a huge laugh I get tears in my eyes and I can't help but join in. It makes me think about his mother, grandmother, and grandfather back in Russia, and how nobody came to visit him in the orphanage in 2 1/2 years. No one even inquired about him during that time. How no Russian families expressed any interest in adopting him. If only they had seen that smile. If only they had heard that laugh. They would have fallen in love with him immediately as I did.

But their loss is my gain. And I will thank God everyday for my gain...

JP

We're Home

Sorry about the delay in posting a new update. It has been a whirlwind since we got home. But here's the quick synopsis.

We said goodbye to the Franks early Wed morning, both happy and sad at the same time. It's not just any couple that you could meet for a few short days five months prior, and then spend a whole month with and feel like you had been friends forever. What a journey it was with you guys! Thanks for making the trip so enjoyable and special (Dennis- I'm proud of you for not killing anyone...I wouldn't have come to visit you in the Gulag).

Vladimir (our driver) drove us to the airport in typical Vladimir style. It was the most gorgeous day of the entire trip, and we got to enjoy it from the confines of a four-door VW sedan and the center section of a 767 (you can't win them all). Passport control and check-in went without incident, and we even were able to smuggle our bottle of water through to the plane. They did confiscate the lighter I bought for my father though (complete with Communist decoration). Flammable liquids next to clothing in an enclosed space (I don't see what the problem is...do you?).

The 13-hour flight went well for the four of us (Me, Sara, Elijah, and the Benedryl), and he slept about 6 hours in the middle of the flight. LAX Customs was uneventful as well, and we passed through immigration without a hitch. As we wheeled the luggage cart around the corner to where all the people were waiting, I was flooded with emotion. Seeing my boys and my family standing behind the glass was unforgetable. Waving and cameras flashing. I felt like a rock star! OK, so it wasn't exactly for me. Elijah was quite the rock star. He took to everyone well, and many hugs were exchanged.

We have been home now for 3 days, and I am happy to announce that things are going really well. Better than we could have hoped or expected. Misha is adapting extremely well. He's loving his new surroundings (with the exception of the dogs...he's still getting used to them). He is such a bright ray of sunshine. Took him to church for the first time tonight, and we were able to introduce him to so many of our friends. It was incredible. He was in rare form, running and laughing and goofing around (which he does well). All of our friends have been so involved in this adoption from the beginning, and to be able to share him with them finally after 2 1/2 years of waiting was just as special to them as it was to us. Just a great time of rejoicing over God's faithfulness.

Even though we feel like a major part of this adoption process is over, God is definitely not done with us. He's still speaking, like through our pastor tonight. One of the passages we looked at tonight was from Galatians. It says "Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ". Galatians 6:2. What a huge statment. Not "and thus do something good" or "and thus make God kind of happy", but "fulfill the law of Christ". What a summation of what Christianity is all about. The law is fulfilled when we bear one another's burdens. Just as Christ bore the burden of our sins upon the cross, we experience Christ in His fullness when we are bearing each others burdens. And there are so many friends that have born this adoption burden with us along the way. It brings me so much joy to know that your actions have not only pleased God, but served to strengthen your understanding of who He is and what this life is all about. To all those that have born our burden, bring yours on. I can't wait to shoulder some load for you...

JP

Heading out to Sea (the last entry from Russia)

Sunday got us out again sightseeing. We wanted to take the typical “In front of St. Basil’s Cathedral” picture of Elijah, so we took the subway to the heart of Moscow to Red Square. When we arrived, we all realized that we were horribly underdressed for the occasion (it’s June for Pete’s sake!). We decided to cut our losses, buying some quick souvenirs and then hopping the train back to the hotel.

As is the case with Moscow weather (we soon realized), by afternoon it was beautiful and warm. So we headed back to Red Square and got the necessary snapshots and video. Pizza for dinner (again, and by Sara’s wishes the last time) and some play time in the lobby with the boys.

Monday morning started with catching our first glimpse on our boys back home on the webcam since we have been here. It was absolutely wonderful! We exchanged goofy faces to each other, and it was just like being in the room with them. Just seeing them gives me the recharge to push through these last few days. Later that morning, Dennis and I were off to the Russian Consulate to register our children (a process we found out we could have done at home, but our agency is one of the few that require it get done here…we could have gone home on Saturday otherwise). But, as we have said all along, Misha is the child God had in mind for us, and this is what it takes to get him home. Who are we to doubt the plan God has for this child?

Sara, Elijah, and I decided to head out on our own in the afternoon to Arbat Street again to pick up the last few souvenirs that we wanted to bring home. It was such a wonderful day. The weather was beautiful, and Elijah was just at peace during the trip. We were a family, the three of us, and it felt great! I can’t wait to experience that as a family of 6 soon.

Tuesday dawned with big sightseeing plans for our last day. It was supposed to be cold on Monday, and warmer on Tuesday. Instead, it was the other way around. We arrived to Red Square under overcast skies and leaning into a stiff wind. But nothing was going to deter me from my plans. We walked the perimeter of the Kremlin, along the Moscow River, and to a huge Russian Orthodox Church called the Cathedral of Christ our Savior. We went inside, and it was absolutely breathtaking. Service was in progress, and the smell of incense mixed with chanting and singing in Russian and breathtaking colors was truly memorable.

Later to a statue of Peter the Great keeping watch over the River and back to the Kremlin to see the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier. No time to tour the Kremlin though (we’ll have to do that next time when we are retired, 65, and touring Russia for the memories).

That catches up to me writing this entry right now while Misha takes his afternoon nap. We head to the airport tomorrow morning for our early afternoon flight back home. It’s hard to believe that we have spent a month here in Russia (don’t get me wrong, it has felt like a month and then some). It’s just weird how I have found myself adapting to the culture and language in such a short period of time. How I am finding sights to be familiar, and I am getting comfortable maneuvering through the city. I miss home and I can’t wait to get on that plane and head back to my boys. But I thank God for the opportunity to experience something so far beyond anything I ever would have thought or dreamed I would do. And I couldn’t have done it without Him. For the last two years, He has remained faithful through all the ups and downs (at times it seemed like more downs than ups), and I have experienced His hand working so tangibly every step of the way. It took bringing a little orphan boy home to our family for me to truly realize how much God is at work in our lives, and how much he wants to do in our lives if we just give him the opportunity.

I am a holder at heart. I like to be under and in control of situations. Yet that’s not what it is about. There is one out there who is stronger than I am. There is one out there who is smarter than I am. There is one out there who sees the big picture, from beginning to end and everything in between. And over the past 2 ½ years I have fought him for control of this adoption. And every time I couldn’t hold on anymore, he showed that he had a hold all along. I am again reminded of a comment by C.S. Lewis

"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

I have been playing in the mud my whole life, but I am happy to say that I have stepped out in faith and followed my Father to the sea. I have not arrived yet, but I have caught glimpses of that shimmering horizon over the hills and on top of the valleys. I am a lot closer than I have ever been. I can smell the salt and hear the waves in the distance. And I know for sure that I don’t want to go back my slum. I know that there are many hills and valleys that stand in front of me before I reach the sea, but my Father’s leading the way, and I trust him with my life…

JP

Keeping Time

Friday came, and we mentally prepared ourselves to brave the Russian Subway on our own and venture to Arbat Street, tourist trap #1 in Moscow, to scout out and bargain for souvenirs. 3 stops and one line change and we were there, or at least across a huge, busy street from Arbat Street. We decided to take the long way around, and it was truly the long way around. What’s a few extra calories burned? This trip ended up being more of reconnaissance mission, but we managed to talk down a few items and left feeling rather proud or our “let’s make a deal” skills.

After lunch, it was off to the good ol’ USA (in a manner of speaking). We went to the U.S. Embassy to get Elijah’s visa. What an experience sitting in a room with 15-20 American families, all brimming with excitement and sagging with exhaustion at the same time, committed to a single purpose (and speaking English. Ahhhhhh, English). To bring these little orphans to forever homes. One family back for a third time to pick up the older sister of their other two adopted children. Another bringing home twin sisters. What a positive and uplifting experience. Just a healthy reminder on those tough days that you’re not the only one pushing through, and that there are other families out there for others boys and girls that need homes.

That night we said goodbye to our new friend, Becki, and her daughter, Lira, all laughing and soaked from head to toe from our walk back from KFC in the rain (when the storms hit here, they hit hard and without warning). Exchanging e-mail addresses, it’s funny how a shared situation as deep as adoption can bring people so close so quickly.

The next day, we decided to lay low. Sara was itching for a hot chocolate in the morning, but our trip across the street to coffee shop yielded no hot chocolate, or coffee for that matter. We’re still not sure what the deal was with that one. We spent the better part of the afternoon in the 4th floor lobby of the hotel visiting with another couple adopting through America World, the Mocabees, who were leaving that evening for Krasnoyarsk for the next 2 ½ weeks to bring home a boy and his two little sisters. From none to three. What a gift they are giving these little children. I applaud their faith and determination. I’m not sure I would have been up for an order that tall. How special!

Dinner at TGI Fridays yielded one of the best tasting cheeseburgers I have ever eaten, a large Coke that cost me $6, and a shirt that will never smell the same (you needed a foghorn to find your way to your table through the haze of cigarette smoke).

Today was a bit of a setback in terms of Elijah’s behavior. He reminded us of the boy we knew at the orphanage, scared and unsure of things. It was just a reminder that we can’t let up with this little boy and become complacent in how we raise him. We have to always be watching for that curveball that he’s going to throw us. But the walk home from the restaurant reminded us again what it’s all about, and that it’s going to be ok. As I carried him, he just sang at the top of his lungs to anyone within earshot, giggling and bouncing in my arms, keeping perfect time with my every step. He was a normal little boy, comfortable and safe enough with me to just let go. Wow…

JP

Diaper dancing, double-unders, and deep Theology

6 am and we were up and getting ready for the day. Breakfast of oatmeal and fruit was a success (for Elijah, not us…we already know how to eat, thanks). Downstairs waiting in the lobby for our driver to take us to Elijah’s medical exam necessary for his visa, we met a woman from Tennessee bringing home a 7-year-old girl from outside St. Petersburg. We all were headed to the same medical appointments and caravanned together. What a wonderful little girl from such unfortunate circumstances. But so full of life and hope in her eyes. It makes me smile to think of the life that awaits her.

Elijah passed his medical exam with flying colors. He brings his little Fisher Price music player with him everywhere he goes, and the doctor’s office was no exception. Naked from head to toe except for a diaper and the music player in his hand, he proceeded to dance and sing his way through the exam. The doctor’s comment was “His love for music very good!” Funny how God works these children into families.

We ordered pizza to go at Sbarro across the street and ate in the 4th floor lobby of the hotel. During lunch we met a couple men from Texas and their translator. You can definitely pick out the Americans here…just a different look. They had just returned from Krasnoyarsk, where we were, doing work with a local church. They were at the end of a month-long trip to various churches in Russia, teaching and giving leadership council. We talked for about 20 minutes on the state of the Protestant church in Russia and the differences between Protestant and Russian Orthodox theology. Quite a deep discussion in between bites of pepperoni and sausage. It is definitely taking a much more grass-roots approach here since the fall of Communism. But I’m convinced that’s not all bad. It gets Christianity away from a focus on big buildings, large congregations and anonymous worship, and back to its model. Christ teaching 12 people around a dinner table and the early church meeting in homes, providing direct support to one another and meeting each other’s needs, both physical and spiritual. Pray for continued confidence on those small church leaders here as they meet with difficulties and roadblocks by the state. And thank God for the freedom that we have in the U.S. to worship as we choose.

Found a park in the afternoon with a playground, and with no fear Elijah conquered the slide. A couple times down on his behind and he realized that the thrills were too tame, so headfirst we went laughing the whole way down, Curious George in tow (unfortunately “Handi-wipes” don’t work on George’s dirty little hands and feet). We’re not sure if he’s brave or if he just didn’t know any better. Either way, it is taking a little time for us to get used to having a 2 ½ year-old again and remember that we have to watch him a little more closely. I love that so many things are new experiences for him, and my mind spins with all the “first-times” this little boy is going to have.

Evening ended with a card game called “Apples to Apples”, meeting our new friend and her 7 year-old daughter, Lira, in the 4th floor lobby. Much laughter and chasing little boys filled the lobby of this upscale hotel. I am sad to say that I lost both games, but I did get a chance to demonstrate my mad jump-roping skills with Lira’s rope, completing three double-unders in a row (that’s when you jump once but the rope completes two revolutions to you lay people), much to the awe of all present. Oh yeah! I’m the man….

JP

Back in Moscow

Last day in Krasnoyarsk, and we were definitely ready to be done. We were hoping to use our last day for a little sightseeing, heading to the flea market, and heading to the park. Instead, we spent the day waiting. We had an appointment between 11 and 1 to go get Elijah’s birth certificate and passport. So we decided to spend the morning packing for our early morning flight out Wednesday. We got the passport (with the cutest little picture of him by the way), and went back to the hotel to find out that our liaisons would be coming back between 4 and 5 to collect fees. So Elijah went down for a nap, and we continued packing. Then we waited. Around 6, we were met by our liaisons, and the day was shot. We had dinner, and turned in early. So much for a bag full of Krasnoyarsk souvenirs.

Morning came at 3 am, and we were off to the airport for the early morning flight to Moscow. We can’t say that we were looking forward to the 5-hour flight, more intrigued as to how it would go. I am happy to say that it went incredibly well. We were worried that he wouldn’t sit still, but our problem was that all he wanted to do was sit still in mommy’s lap. But when mommy can’t feel her toes, it’s a bit of a problem. He slept for a good 1 ½ hours or so on the plane with minimal fussing. We thank God for that.

The hardest part was that we arrived in Moscow at 8 am, and had the rest of the day still ahead of us (it was a long one to be sure). We took the scenic route from the airport to the city (which was beautiful, but I felt like added and hour to the drive), and then straight to get Misha’s visa picture taken. That one is classic. He was not too happy at that moment to be posing for a picture, and he had a pretty good scowl on his face (our liaison here said that per Russian standards it is a perfect visa picture because Russians are very serious in their official pictures).

A three hour nap followed, and then we ventured out for dinner at the American Bar and Grill. $14 for a cheeseburger and fries, but it was worth every penny! Still getting the routine of high-chair and sitting still in a restaurant down, but it was an enjoyable meal all the same.

I must say that this afternoon I experienced my lowest moment. Just exhausted from the flight, knowing that we still have a week to go and missing my boys came to a head while Misha was taking a nap. I know that this is all part of the process, but I will admit that it is harder than I expected. From the moment we picked him up, all we have wanted to do is start being a family. But it is difficult to do that when you are still bouncing around in hotel rooms and ordering pizza to eat in the lobby because you feel like you are going to suffocate spending another minute in the hotel room. You have one hour left on the second season of “24” (yes, that is 23 hours already watched) and you are on your second book (Adam Ted Dekker if anyone is interested…great read). But mostly wanting to get Misha on a routine and get him used to what life is really going to be like at home with three wonderful brothers and two sebaka (those are dogs for you Amerikanski).

I guess that just validates what we are doing here. There is something about “home” that is different than anywhere else. It doesn’t matter what the zip code is. It doesn’t matter what the amenities are. Pick up our little Escondido “dacha” and put it here, and it still wouldn’t be home. Elijah’s orphanage had everything he needed for physical survival, but it wasn’t a home, nor was it ever going to be. Home is the whole package. Familiarity, family, routine, safety, support, love, relationship, understanding, comfort, Christ. Doesn’t everyone deserve that?….

JP

Another Video

Daisies and Roses…and then some

I sit here at the end of our third day with Misha, a little fussing in the background as Sara rocks Elijah to sleep and we sweat it out with no AC in the room, the window shut to keep it quiet in a day that topped at about 90 degrees with humidity. Snow flurries last week, 90 degrees with humidity this week. I guess that’s Siberia for you?

Each day has brought both promise in our new life with Misha and anxiousness to get home. We pick up Misha’s passport tomorrow, and fly out on Wednesday morning early for what seems like a pointless week in Moscow (we met a family here that will only have to be in Moscow for two days). And not a day too soon. After what has ended up seeming like an eternal party on the streets of Krasnoyarsk, culminating in a fireworks display outside our hotel window that woke us up at 11:30 at night (seeing as it’s not dark until then), we are ready for a little more peace and quiet. It seems like the fun (and the alcohol consumption) never sleeps here in Krasnoyarsk.

Three days have given us a pretty good initial read on the personality of little Elijah. He continues to be wonderful, sweet little boy with the most adorable expressions (they’re hard to catch on camera, but as soon as I have one I’ll post it). But it hasn’t been all daisies and roses, as we knew and expected from the beginning (and as the fussing that has turned to screaming behind me will attest to). He started testing his boundaries from day one, seeing what was ok and what was “niet”, often using his cute little expressions to stretch the boundary just a little farther. What he doesn’t know is that we’ve done this three times already, and we’ve seen it all. The cards are stacked against you little man (or malinky mushena as we loosely translate it into Russian).

But we’ve given him a pretty big learning curve, and due to the past 2 ½ years of his life we are focusing heavily on developing attachment with us and trust. And I’m happy to say that we are making wonderful progress. Today we had two milestones. One, he gave both of us our first kisses. It was wonderful! We had been practicing on Curious George for the past two days. He would kiss George, George would kiss us, and we would kiss him (I don’t think George minded this game all that much, but mommy knows where George has been for the last 2 ½ weeks and tries not to think about it).

Second, he bumped his head against the wall, and for the first time he came running to me crying for me to comfort him (I had to balance my concern for him with my joy in his response, but I knew he was going to live). This is a pretty common problem with institutionalized children that have had to self-soothe their whole life. That he recognizes us as here to take care of him and able to comfort him when he is hurt is huge, and it has only been three days! This is truly wonderful!

We have a long way to go and a lot to learn, but a few things are for sure. We love him with all our hearts and we will not stop loving him, no matter how hard it might get or how long it might take. And as the crying has stopped behind me and I hear the soft voice of Sara singing “Jesus loves me”, I am again reminded what it is all about. “Yes, Jesus loves me.” No matter how much I fight against him, or how patient he has to be with me he still loves me the same. Why would I do any less for my son?,.,,,

JP

The Hope Inside

Well, we have completed our official 1^st day with Elijah and our second full week in Krasnoyarsk. Sara’s taking a nice long shower and Elijah’s having what we call “Misha Time”, where he goes in the space between the desk and the wall and plays toys. It’s his safe place in the room here, so we let him go there for little stretches of time to just chill. So I get a few moments to write a little update.

All things considered, things are going really well. Elijah slept in until about 6:30 am, which wasn’t too bad considering that he slept (albeit restlessly) through the night. Breakfast was hit and miss (Banana and applesauce-yes, oatmeal-no). Got him dressed for the day (he looked like a little dude), and then it was off to the business center.

After a failed attempt to upload the video I made, I had to go to the office of vital records to fill out a request form for Elijah’s birth certificate so that we can get his passport to leave Krasnoyarsk for Moscow on Wednesday.

Lunch was a bit more successful, and then we ventured out for a walk to track down diapers (this kid goes through them like they grow on trees!). We stayed off the busy roads as much as we could, and he did great. We practiced our English (bus, car, traffic, congestion, smog, danger) and played with daddy’s Mountain Dew bottle (not the big one, just a small one this time. I’m not an addict….I promise).

After a small struggle, he went down for a nap and I failed in a second attempt to upload my Misha Video to the blog. Snack time and play time in the room, and it was off to Subway for dinner. He sang songs to himself all the way there and all the way back (he’s going to be perfect for this family). Saturday night is a rager here in Kras, especially at the courtyard in front of the hotel. There was music, people dancing, and we busted out the bubbles. We took turns blowing them and busting them in midair and enjoyed some people-watching (trust me, it’s better than Venice).

Dinner time for Elijah went even better than lunch, and bathtime was a blast. So much so that we had a rough time getting out. It took a little longer to get to bed this time around (that rocking chair at home would come in handy now), but at least Sara’s getting bigger biceps.

The end of day one finds us wiser, and more in love with Elijah than the day before. Every little challenge he presents during the day is a chance for us to get a glimpse into his personality and the depth of some of his attachment and trust issues. But so far he hasn’t thrown us any curveballs. He is a little boy that grew up having to take care of himself and without the safety and love of a family. But he’s doing the best he can. And he has such a pure and wonderful heart inside him. When he smiles, we see the hope that every child has, that God loves him and there is a world out there full of wonderful and beautiful things for him to experience. He hasn’t lost that. It is still inside him, and thanks be to God and so many wonderful and supportive people that now that hope will never leave him…

JP

Misha Video

Here's a little tease....

Gotcha Day!

Well, he is officially ours. We can now post pictures and video, so I thought I would put together a little video montage of our trips, up to the day we picked him up from the orphanage (this is what I've done with some of the free time here). Unfortunately, if you are reading this and there is not video, that's because it's been over an hour and the video hasn't uploaded yet. I am going to have to re-think this strategy. In the meantime, here's a detail of our day, and I will follow it up with pictures on my next post (I don't have any with me in the business center) to satisfy for now until I get the video worked out.

Ok, this video is taking way longer to upload than I expected, so I will post a quick few words. We picked up Elijah earlier than expected, at 2pm instead of 5pm, so we had to rush around to try to get things ready for his big trip. We were anxious, but excited about what lay ahead of us. He welcomed us with a few tears when we got there (not a huge surprise), but settled down when we started changing his clothes. He found that pretty fun. He said "niet" again to the shoes, but we put them on anyway and he did fine. A quick goodbye to the orphanage director, and we were down the stairs and out into the open world. He rubbed his eyes in the sun (it felt more like San Diego than Siberia in the 75 degree heat) and Sara held him as we said a prayer for him on the steps of the orphanage.

He greeted the van with arms and legs extended in flight pose. There was no way he was having the inside of the van (he likes to look at them out the window, but getting into one is another story). And after the many near misses on the roads of Siberia we've had thus far, I can't say that I blame him. He settled down, enjoying the ride back to the hotel in the safe confines of mama's arms. No throwing up on the drive! Yeah! It is a pretty common occurance, but we were spared.

We had to make a stop at the photo place to get his passport picture taken. No tears there (thank goodness), and we were off to the hotel. He greeted our room with interest, and was pretty quiet as he explored. We gave him a snack, and proceeded to head outside to see the fountains in front of the hotel. It was very busy and a little chaotic for him (we could feel his nervousness as he clung to Sara's arms), so we headed back inside to the room for the night. Dinner of soup didn't go over too well with him (I guess Uncle Ben's is a little different than orphanage soup), so we added a banana and some bread and called it a night. A little wind-down time, and he was ready to be held by Sara. She fed him a bottle (part of his attachment process), and Sara rocked him to sleep. He slept through the night until 6 in the morning. Not bad for a first night.

Elijah is finally our son. Wow....that's all I can say...

JP

Sippy Cup Games

Took advantage of the morning off from going to the orphanage to call my boys. I miss them a ton, and it is so wonderful to hear their voices. Decided to explore a little, so we walked along the Yenesei River and circled our way back through the streets of Krasnoyarsk. We came across what I can best describe as a mini amusement park along our walk. We paid our 20 rubles each for entry, and walked around what ended up being a huge park filled with various “fair-style” rides and attractions, down to a train that circled the whole park and a Ferris wheel. I can’t say that I was brave enough to try out any of the rides, but there was a huge playground that we can’t wait to take Misha to as soon as he is in our care for good. Even a Spongebob balloon to be purchased if we so desire.

The rest of the afternoon was spent relaxing, and we enjoyed a wonderful Italian dinner followed by an UNO tournament, in which Sara was champion, winning four hands in a row and completely annihilating everyone.

Early the next morning, we caravanned again to the orphanage to see our boy. We were happy to see him dressed in some “boy clothes” this time. He is continuing to attach to us, and his comfort level improves every trip. Daddy got in a pretty extensive tickle session this time around. Hearing his laugh is the most wonderful sound in the whole world. We made good eye contact and his ability to relax with me improved as well. He took a fascination with the plastic flute, and I attempted to instruct him in the finer points of music making. Dodging spit flying from the tip of the flute as he waved it in the air, I was soon able to get him to blow into it (at first he would just put it in his mouth and make a noise with his voice, which always got a smile out of him and a laugh out of us). Soon he was making beautiful music (use your imagination here) and we were having a blast!

He got used to the “sippy cup” that we brought for him (we took out the valve on the inside to help him figure it out) and it soon became a fun game (to him alone) to turn it upside-down on his shirt and drip water all over himself (we would say “niet” and he would laugh). Does this sound familiar to any parents out there? The honeymoon doesn’t last long, and it’s time to start being parents I guess ( I have to admit, I would have found it a pretty fun game too, except that the ink on the front of his shirt used to mark it for his group was running all over the place and getting on his pants and anything else it touched). If this is the worst of it (and it won’t be), then I certainly can’t complain.

Spent the afternoon working on the video montage to post on the blog the day we pick him up. We are scheduled to pick him up on Friday evening, and we can’t wait. While we are a little apprehensive about having him completely to ourselves, it’s no different than any new parent the day that they take the little one home from the hospital. And the sooner he is out of the orphanage, the sooner he can start transitioning to his new life at his new home and the sooner all of our roles can be established. Instead of us being those two people that come to hang out for a few hours everyday, we can start being mom and dad. And he can finally start being a son, something that he has never been before…

JP

Angel in Pink Overalls

Wouldn’t you know it, the morning that we have to get up early to head to the orphanage is the morning I have trouble waking up. I feel like I can drive the trip to the orphanage in my sleep now. Sara and I talk about our game plan in the van on the way to the orphanage and just joke around to pass the time.

Misha greets us with recognition and no tears. What a blessing! Straight into Sara’s arms he went, no problems. Smiles started early, mostly on our part. He came walking in wearing a white shirt with pink and purple stripes and little bows on the sleeve, covered by pink courderoy overall shorts, white and pink socks, and of all things, blue sandals. Needless to say, we have pictures to commemorate the occasion (we made a promise to him that moment that these pictures would not make his wedding video…we are not completely cold and heartless).

Misha and papa spent time pointing and looking outside the second-story window of the orphanage, dad showering him with kisses and stroking his hair. We walked in circles around the room dragging toys in tow, and played music together on separate xylophones. I even brought the MP3 player with headphones and introduced him to his first dose of American rock music, much to his mother’s disappointment. If he’s going to be in this family, he’s going to have to start young, right? After days of fighting with him, he let us take of the sandals and try on his tennis shoes. He was reluctant at first, but once they were on he took four steps in them, looked down, then turned and looked at us with a huge smile on his face. I think he likes them.

At the end of the visit, he spiked a little fever (we think he’s starting to get a little sick), so mama held him and rocked him. To our surprise, he fell asleep in Sara’s arms. While we felt bad for him that he was not feeling well, we were very pleased to see that he was comfortable enough in mama’s arms to relax and fall asleep. What an angel he was while he slept. He looked just like I remember my other three boys sleeping at that age. It’s all perfect.

Dinner was at Subway this time (we are so adventurous here). Our “sandwich artist” spoke English, but I pointed and grunted at the tomatoes and lettuce nevertheless and tried to do the conversion from feet to centimeters in my head (what’s a foot-long?). Braved the Mountain Dew out of the tap and was pleasantly pleased at the sandwich.

Got killed even worse this time around in Trivial Pursuit and am considering reading the questions and answers in my room before we play next time to give me an edge. No trip to the orphanage tomorrow, but back on Wednesday, Thursday, and pick him up on Friday. Not long now…

JP

The Robot in Russia

Sunday dawned much like Saturday. Sara sleeping in and I getting up early. As much as I have the ability to sleep in some here, I guess getting up early is ingrained in my system. However, getting up at 7 or 8 is sleeping in for me, so I guess I’m sleeping in some. Sara took a nice hot shower (we have hot water all the time now again…yeah!) and met me in the business center as I posted blog and talked to people on the internet phone.

Lunch in the room, and we were ready to get out. It was cold and rainy all morning, but it broke a little by the afternoon and we ventured out. Past the courtyard outside the hotel and its beautiful fountains, we crossed a street lined with horse drawn carriages. Down the long stone steps flanked by bronze statues and a waterfall fountain, snapping pictures of Curious George sitting on the foot of a 15-foot tall famous Russian statue (since we couldn’t bring the boys, Curious George has been our stand-in for all the pictures that we would have taken of the boys. I have a running story going with George in my e-mails to the boys, and they love to see new pictures everyday. Who knows, maybe there’s a new Curious George book to come out of it “Curious George goes to Siberia”. I sense I bestseller in the making…). Arm and arm, we crossed the busy street and traversed the decrepit stone steps down to the Yenisei River (I think this is the first time I spelled it right).

It was cold, but we huddled close as we strolled down the birch-lined walkway, stopping occasionally to snap a picture or take some video. The beauty and peace of the moment were not lost on us. Spoke of home and boys, and how nice it will be to take Misha down here in a few days. We love to go down to Point Loma to Shelter Island or Seaport Village in San Diego and stroll the boardwalk next to the water and sit in the grass, so this afternoon felt like a piece of home (except for the temperature, or course).

Back at the room, we figured it was laundry time. Blowing up the inflatable pool we got for Misha’s bathtime, we proceeded to wash clothes, Sara in the pool scrubbing and I rinsing in the sink. We were quite a team. Even Curious George got his shirt washed. Now it will only take a week for them to dry.

Dinner found us back at the Irish Pub (KFC was closed for some reason). Sara helped me order fish (it actually turned out to really be fish this time), and the salmon was excellent. The smoky atmosphere, flashing green laser lights, and techno dance music got to my head, and on a dare Andrew (the Franks’ 7 year-old son) and I stood up in front of the DJ’s table and did “the robot” and “the running man”, very much acting the part of stupid Americans. We earned a thumbs-up from the DJ (he even got the smoke machine going for us) and a few smiles from the staff behind the bar (for Russia, I think that’s pretty good). You only live once, right?

After getting creamed by the Franks in Trivial Pursuit, we dejectedly headed back to our room, our pride in tow. Tomorrow we see Misha again in the morning, and we can’t wait….

JP